I am feeling so clean especially with my hair washed!
So refreshing yet the eyes are getting droppy, begging me to sleep soon.

Not before I get this up but I need to do it soon because I'm really getting too comfy on the bed.

News.

It gets from sad to really sitting up reading the papers on the Malaysian upcoming elections and politics that is really hot.

Its sucky though that they moved from corruption to crime to the Quran and finally(if it ever is valid) to the Laws of Islam.
No, I am not going to start preaching, but really, have these people really run out of topics to get the attention from the media.

Or, they probably ran out of evidences that they start covering themselves up on general theories and laws which, in my eyes seem it is such a flimsy arguement, denoting it almost as self-defense.
Only the Malaysians will know truth but probably some choose not to believe. They decided to stick by their 'integrity' to their initial choice.

Ok politics aside.

The local government just announced an additional 4 week maternity leave for mothers. I gleamed seeing the headlines and then snapped myself back to reality, cutting the smile right across the face.

I mean, what the heck was I gleaming for?

I am not married, what more have kids.
*lol*

Then, just as the government had successfully triggered, I asked myself if I am ready.
The answer?

NO

I'm sure the government would be very disappointed with this especially when they are doing measures to increase the birth rate in Singapore.

I get strong pressures from relatives asking me when would my turn be, especially all of those my age (which is about 4 of us) and older (excluding bro) are married. Or at least one will be married by this weekend.
Some pressed for answers to ask if I was attached and ask if wedding bells are coming really soon. The questions just come by so often that it really got me frustrusted. Now people just don't ask me at weddings anymore. They ask me at any place, as long as I bump into them. Secretly, I know it indirectly got Mommy worried.

Despite so, my answer to all of them was simple,"No time."
Be it no time to get married or no time to prepare for wedding or even no time to decide whether or not I should be married at this point of time.
Obviously, my answers did not satisfy them.

I am a woman and naturally, I would love to be married.
At least that was among my listed priorities till months back.

I get irritated when people try to carry out matchmaking for me.
Very irritated.
Of all the things I need help in life, I don't need help in this matter.
I don't care if their sons need help. I don't.

It came to a point of time recently that I got busy taichi-ing all the proposals and matchmaking and setups that came along the way.

All the good men are taken up. Either to be married or married with kids. Worse, if they are gay.
Ok, I don't discriminate - at all. I am liberal, not by actions but in thoughts.

But those who came along the way either can't get over their ex-girlfriends or are in a situations where their moms don't like their girlfriends that the moms chose to pick me instead.

My problem?

See! Its better to be alone than need to butter the fella and prove that I am worth to be married to just to make him happy.

I know exactly what I want and the characteristics I am looking for which is why I don't feel the pressure and am very adamant about it.

I'm not sure when the right one will come or if it may ever come. But I won't be compromising at any point and neither am I expecting the other party to compromise. Growing old is all about being in sync and naturally understanding the nature of the other party.

So as long as it is not Adam meets Eve, I'm not risking signing the 40 year contract (minimally).

That I have made my mind up.


Love and pity and wish well to every soul in the world; dwell in love, and then you dwell in God

William Law