This should be everyone's best friend.
Well, it has been mine for the longest time! 10 years maybe! And I really want to share this with my readers.

For many years I have with sharing it with my lady friends and mummies but they seem to give me that 'ARE-YOU-SURE' look. I really cannot help but to give them the 'CAN'T-YOU-TELL-IM-SERIOUS' look in return.
Well, it all started when many ask me what was my secret to having flawless skin.

*cough*cough*

I do not have flawless skin. (Happy now?)I have a slightly an uneven skin tone and dark eye rings which I have to thank my genetics for that. Yes, dark eye rings can be genetic and I had mine confirmed by a doctor.
But I have to admit that I do have almost zit-free skin. I used to have a T-zone issue - long time back.

Of course Vagisil is popularly known as a cleaning liquid to wash and clean our lady bits. I always wonder why they have these products because we were taught since young to wash with soap during showers and during visits to the toilet. Nonetheless, I share with the ladies that I use it as a facial wash.

YUP. FACIAL WASH.

Ok, are you going to give me that face again behind the screen?

But truly, this is the one and only facial wash you will ever going to need. I am not a fan of skin solutions because I think they are overly expensive and I really do not have the capacity, be it time or energy to cleanse my face, use tons of cotton wools and toners which are overly drying to the skin. What more moisturisers. Gosh! I hate going to sleep with a sticky face.

So everytime I wash my face in the shower or when I need to take my abolution, I always do it with a 20-cent coin size of Vagisil. Wash it over my face and it cleans make up! Of course for waterproof ones, you need probably about $1 coin size of Vagisil. As for me, I only use foundation, eyebrow colour, eyeliner, blusher, sometimes a little mascara, rarely lipsticks which will be gone after a meal and too lazy to reapply again. So the make up washes off in a jiffy!

Why Vagisil as a facial wash?

1. It works on all skin types.
Vagisil is pH balanced so it is really useful for acne prone skin. As for me, I no longer have T-zone skin. In fact, it will not even leave your skin dry because of balanced pH. So really, this is truly a cheaper option to the many facial wash that you have been trying.

In fact, there are some of Vagisil formulation that contains probiotics and can help to clear up blemishes.

2. It is nicely scented.
I swear upon this. It is awesomely fresh yet sweet smell which is a bonus on top of the clean feel you have on your skin. Of course you can opt for the unscented version.

3. It is hypoallergenic.
I am allergic to 1001 things and when I knew that this formulation was hypoallergic, I was so delighted to use it without much thought.
It is really meant for delicate skin isn't it? Well, why not for the face.

4. It is way cheaper than your bottles of your skin care.
That I need not explain any further.

I am sure the gentlemen will have some reservations using them. Well, if you have a wife, just squeeze out some for yourself. She would not know the different. There is a large amount of love to be shared. Typically a bottle can last myself(only) for 2 months or so.

If you have yet to be married, well, just transfer it to another clear bottle. No one will notice.

Well, there was a day when I was home with the 3 kids alone and preparing lunch. I was happily cutting away the chilli and a couple strands of hair was tickling my nose. Without thinking, or more like a reflex action, I pulled those strands of hair away. Within moments, I felt the piercing heat from the chilli on my nose and cheeks.

I was panicking and had no idea what to do next. The pain was getting intense. I went to the toilet to wash it off and contemplated to apply some toothpaste on it to cool it down. But when I entered the toilet, I saw my facial wash aka Vagisil and I washed my whole face with it.

Trust me, the pain and heat subsided and I felt very clever. Vagisil is pH balanced, hence it neutralises the acidity of the chilli on my skin! Tadaa!

Someone I knew has eczema and when I shared with her about the pH balance of this, she used it as her shower gel. Apparently, she shared that it didn't dry her skin and she felt like the wash didn't rip her off her body moisture!

So ladies, if you are still wondering which facial wash can serve you best, I hope you will give Vagisil a shot. I'm pretty sure it can be love after first wash!

What happens in 2015 remains in 2015

First blog post in 2016. I am too old for resolutions. I am taking life one day at a time.
I am already too tired to plan everything ahead and then get disappointed at times. So, it is always more exciting when impromptu.
For example, since I got married, I never plan for a child. And then they came like popcorns! Pop! Pop! Pop! 3 times.
See! What a joy!

Lol!

As much as I am looking forward to 2016, I am also very scared of what the future holds for me and my family. I only and always pray that we will all be kept in good health and in His blessings. I am more than happy to say goodbye to 2015 but at the same time, treachery onto a unknown future is scary as well.

Entrepreneurship struggles:
In 2015, Alfi and I made a decision to take a break from work. Embark on entrepreneurship and spend more time with the family especially when our third baby was coming. Was it easy? No. It was hell. But we pulled through the year and we made many triumphant memories along the way.
If you know of everyone sharing with you the goodness of entrepreneurship as if it is a bed of roses, never believe them 100%. The road is tough. It takes more than just resilience and perseverance. If you are doing a side business while working, it is a different story altogether. Alfi and I relied entirely on our skills and network to have things going in the house.

We aren't millionaires but we definitely came out of 2015 feeling proud that we pulled through thus far. We came out of 2015 stronger than we were before. Smarter, or shall I say more knowledgeable than we were before. We see more colours of people. We realised that the grass is not necessary greener on this side, as what you read in web journals on entrepreneurship. We sat back and reflected how we survived 2015 with 3 kids and we had no idea. It was the rezeki and barakah of our precious gifts - our children.

Will we continue this route? Insya Allah. We leave it all to Him to guide us and see if this route is best for family.

Desperately a Housewife:
It was the year that I changed my status from being a working mom to a housewife. It was not by choice to be exact. I had a tough pregnancy because of work discrimination. I guess after the third pregnancy over a span of 5 years in the same company, they think I am productive at night instead. Oh well. It was not a place to stay anyway. I couldn't drown myself in toxic environment anymore.

Here is the big but. But when I thought I was game to head back to the workforce after my maternity leave, I was held back totally by my baby girl. Largely due to the stress levels I had during my pregnancy and delivery, Radiah had reflux for 6 months and was intensely stress and clingy baby, only wanting to suckle on the good stuffs (you know what I mean). I was lucky that I had Alfi at home with me most times because I no longer had a maid (I refuse to die standing with one). Being a housewife was not a choice. I was in a situation where I could not go back to the workforce. I truly believe it is God's work to make my life as such. It makes me grounded and stay put.

In brief, as much as all the stress I had with a newborn and 2 other very young children, not being able to see my bank account magically have money inside at the end of every month, I was deeply happy. Even when Alfi had to leave his whole family behind for 2 weeks to di his Umrah. I really thank my mom for putting up at my place during that time, tolerating the cries, the mess, the riot, everything!



Truth is, I was happy that I managed to see my children grow up from morning till night, everyday for the whole of 2015. I was there when the kids are sick at every moment. I was there to cook and feed everyone in the house which makes me realise the depth of love I have for my family. I was there to make sure that the kids were having enough nutrients and water. I was there to make sure the kids were able to spend time in playgrounds and with their Nani.

Those moments are precious.

Of course, we kept our expenses lean. Alhamdulillah despite the periods we had stormy weather, we felt we gave the kids more than enough. In fact, they refused to have a bibik (maid) at home which is a trophy statement for me.
I became smarter in spending and even working out the household expenses. The children still have nice clothes and they get to have whatever they like to eat. Toys was every week or so. Mummy gets a bag or two in a year, a shoe or two. I don't need much. I want a lot! But never needing them. (Needs vs Wants)

Yes, I have a husband who gives me all his earnings and let me decide on expenditure. I will end up just making sure he has cash in his wallet, petrol in his car, season parking settle, remind him of insurance and road tax and of course check his account if he has some money to spend.

But trust me, without a maid, I save a lot (and I really mean a lot!) of money!

2016:
The husband and I are looking forward to 2016. We made ourselves smarter this year than last year. We learn about people well enough. It is also the year where Rania will start school. Schedules and priorities will change. Another year of settling down, hoping to find a new home. Another year of changes. Both Alfi and I are tuned, maybe immune but we take a day at a time.



To my family,
We have braved the storm in 2015. A year we hope to normalise and tie the loose ends. Each and everyone is a gift from God to me and the 5 of us is what I treasure most.

May we snap many more pretty pictures and weave beautiful memories together in good health.

In summary, this is how I will showcase my 2015.



To many good days in 2016, AMIN!

My 37-week Journey

I find a terrible sense of urgency to write up this blog entry. Everything was in a state of craziness for the longest time that I was too exhausted to blog, despite missing in writing.

On 19th January, me and the little girl inside hit 37 weeks! Technically we are full term and baby girl can be popping out anytime.
Oh yes, I have been having ALL the pre-labour symptoms since a few days back. All of it!
So mummies, if you are getting an SG50 baby this year and will be in my shoes soon, here are all the symptoms that you might have.

1. Backache
In this 3rd pregnancy, I have the worst backache ever! It doesn't help that I am making 2 to 3 trips to the toilet every night. Getting up from bed after sleep is a chore. I will be walking like an old woman to the toilet.
I am not as mobile as I would like to be during this pregnancy. I love walks. I can go for walks but now, I will have to take a 15-minute break to rest my back after a long walk. To kick off the walking pace again would also be a chore. But me being me, I really cannot see myself sitting down and resting at home. I feel so.. so... useless.

2. Leaking
Hahahaha.. I leak ever since my first pregnancy. It is and will never be the same again and we all have to live with that in exchange for the beauty of pregnancy and seeing an adorable mould coming out from you.

I used to think sanitary pads are meant for those times of the month. Oh well, not for me.

3. Contractions
Oh yes! I started having Braxton Hicks pretty late into the pregnancy. Sometime around 33 to 34 weeks. That is considered late for me because my children have a habit of coming out 3 weeks earlier than due date. But, this time around, my pre-labour contractions are the most painful among all my 3 pregnancies. I am beginning to think that I am getting old.

It's always tempting to go to the hospital and see if it is due, especially over the last few days but I had to hold back. There was no regularity in the contractions. Then again, I never experienced that. In my first pregnancy, my water bag leaked and I was induced. In the second pregnancy, I was dilated and I was induced.

I faced real contractions delivering Riduan because my epidural wore off. I remembered tearing in pain begging for more epidural. So until i reach half that stage of pain, I will hold off the hospital visit.

4. Cramps
I probably have not had my mensus cramps in the longest time. Since Feb 2013. That makes it almost 2 years when I conceived Riduan, breastfed him and conceived the third child. But yes, it was all coming back to me now.

5. Pelvic Pressure
This has been my accompanying friend for the longest time. When my bladder is full. When I walk. When I bend down to pick up things. My baby girl was already head down at 33 weeks, so this is really no surprise.

6. Baby 'drops'
This too I experienced earlier in the pregnancy, when I was about 34 weeks. Suddenly, I can walk longer, breathe better and laugh harder! I thought it wasn't so obvious, but everyone seems to be noticing it too.. so I definitely can't go wrong.

7. Diarrhea
I am a constipated person by nature. No amount of vegetables can help me with this because it is just what iron does to me. So instead of going to the loo once in every 3 days, I am doing it 3 times a day now. And it is very different feeling.

8. Stop gaining weight
Just a week ago, I lost half a kilo and baby gained 600g. So that makes me 1.1kg lighter.
I would think this is partly due to the change of diet I have since I am controlling my sugar intake and also my new regime of taking the organic apple cider vinegar which helps with weight loss. I also follow the chinese tradition of drinking long bean and tomato juice for diuretic purposes. It's nice to feel lighter despite carrying a rice sack weight in front.

9. Nesting period
This time around, my nesting period kicked in very very much later. Maybe at 35 and 36 weeks or so. I wait for nature to take its course.
But when it came, I was arranging my baby's clothes, re arranging the laundry area and my kitchen. I even am having half the mind to clear up my store. Lol!

So to sum up this pregnancy, I really did not have the best of times (though all makan cravings have been checked and satisfied).Work had been obsessively demanding, creating a lot of unnecessary stress. I had a difficult time keeping Her Closet in regular momentum. I come home late or exhausted that I get too tired to spend time with Rania and Riduan. Not a single date with my husband till I was on hospitalisation leave.

It was also the time when we moved in to our home in Ang Mo Kio and my leave was not cleared. There was no way of settling down. Till today we are still trying to settle down. Then, there were other home issues which made me and hubby taking up a lot of time to normalise for the family.

Hopefully 2015 will spell out a better year for us both and for the family. Here is the journey of my pregnancy for through the 37 weeks.

At 11 weeks, during Eid, still have the urge to wear heels.



15 weeks



16 weeks



18 weeks



20 weeks



23 weeks
I think I look the best here. Not too big. Not too small but well, it was not the end of the journey.



24 weeks



26 weeks



28 weeks



30 weeks
I begged Alfi to bring me to KL to have my feast before I got heavier and could not manage the two kids. It was not an easy trip but we survived!
We booked a hotel at Westin to make it easier for us to head down to Pavillion. Basically we only stayed at B1 and eat and eat and eat.



31 weeks



32 weeks
Some thought I was pregnant with a boy because I did not grow as wide as a girl pregnancy.



35 weeks
Diagnosed with gestational diabetes, it was hell till I found a remedy and resumed the joy of eating again.



36 weeks
Still 0cm dilated during the check up.



37 weeks
The final stretch. Met the gynae at 37+3 days and was already 2.5cm dilated so we scheduled an induced delivery the following day.
I am not a person who can live with anticipation nor someone who would be calm with surprises, hence the willingness to be induced through normal delivery.



Pregnancy has always been a joy for me. To know that I was given the opportunity to carry a little one inside me is a gift. To know that the little one carves out another milestone for the family is too precious to let go.
There is only so many times a woman can go through pregnancy - biologically. So every one is memorable for me.

The target was 5. We have hit 3, past half way mark. I do not have many more chances and the clock is ticking.
If He gives, we shall embrace. That's all I would say.

Till the birth story of my little princess.

Another move. Another phase.

It has been a very long time since I feel this exhausted.
We moved back to our home after two and a half years at my mom's place after dad passed away.

I wished we could stay a little longer because I could be more dependant on more people.
But at the same time, the space would not allow us to, especially with another child on the way.
So after a long time, we are now home-bound. It is a time when I truly get to experience life as a mother and a housewife.

Back home, I suddenly feel in control. I must make a decision what to cook and not ask around if anyone is cooking. And cooking is not my forte.
My friends and social peers have been getting messages from me on recipes. I go to more supermarkets so I can remember where I can get some things which are not available in other supermarkets.

In my home, the system and structure is my own. I get to tell the maid exactly how I want it to be done. How I want it to be arranged.

When we moved back in, I was doing most of the cleaning. 70% of the cleaning compared to the maid.
A lot of people told me to just leave it to the maid but I insist on setting standards. Put a benchmark on cleanliness. Create a system. Then just get her to follow suit.

Because of the many moves Alfi had made and we as a family making the third move, there are a lot of boxes to clear. Toys to clean. Painting works are on hold after we have completed the children's room and the master bedroom.

Our sofa is still covered with a blanket. We have yet to purchase our dining table.

I am taking it one day at a time. A lot of people are expecting us to host a house warming.
But it is really not my style. I do invite groups of families and friends from time to time but that is about it.
I really don't believe in taking up people's time to show my house. If we are close enough, I rather cook up something simple and you can pop by for us to share some stories.

We will still take a few more weeks to settle down, definitely.
Being on my own with the family means that I am more hands-on more than before. The kids are like in my face all the time. I really enjoy it.

Believe it or not, I don't only feel more like a wife, I feel more like a mother too!



I cannot be more thankful. They are truly the reason why I would wake up every morning and do it all over again.
It is true when people say you have to move out after getting married. After almost 4 years, I can slowly understand why.