The world is a crazy place to live in. 

All of us do face challenges in life regardless of all the smiles we post on social media. It's no secret. 

That's just how life is. 

During my quick lunch or tea break dates with my husband on weekdays, we share a lot of things going on in our lives. That includes work, family and of course our children. We have a very open communication and always agree to disagree. Or agree to really disagree. 

The reason why we practice this is because we are each other's confidante. If we can't agree to disagree then it is pointless to share and probably as time passes by, there will be lesser things to talk. 

One of the things we always contemplate between us was how challenging it was to get married. How challenging it was that we had a house and a child very quickly. How our lives change with a blink of an eye when my dad left us and the dynamics of family change again. And then we were blessed and tested with another baby. We were always trying to manage how to operate productively. 

Over the time, we got better financially. We handled the children better. Career and business ideas were progressive. 

Then we are now blessed with our third baby probably when Riduan was only 7 months. 

How do we operate now?

Challenges at work also hit us head on for the two of us. Needing to bring home the bread and butter, we are each other's advisors to manage situations better. While Alfi is very protective by nature and always teach me the fine characters to carry myself well in the office, I deem myself as his 'First Lady'.  I never fail to attend his company gatherings, engage everyone and after that share my thoughts of his colleagues and subordinates. 

Life being married is different. Life as a mother is different. My priorities change and took a 180-degree turn. 

Some may understand. Of course many do not. Some assume and some give us a real good (sarcasm for tough) time. Some paint pictures which are false and some really put oil to fire. 

Whatever the situation, I do not retaliate. Maybe a mere 20-30 percent only to stand up for myself a little. But most times I avoid those people. I refuse to engage. I will never bring myself down to that level. 

In times like this, I raise my two hands and seek from Him to protect my family. Give us health and berkat rezeki. I pray for my marriage. I pray for my husband and his future. I pray for my family.

Then I pray for myself. 

Today, I made a mental note that I will never forget the things I go through over the past few years. I will not make myself forget. These are valuable lessons. Something that schools will never teach you. I will not forget the people who give me a hard time when I least needed it because  it serves me as a reminder how nasty people can get. 

There was a saying. Forgive and forget. 

I forgive. Most times I do. 

But never once will I forget. 

Insya Allah in time the wheel will come back up for me. I have faith. 

But my life experiences will always remind me what I have been through and make me stay grounded. 

This is life. All of us were promised to be tested. 

It is a mad world. 

My support system

This was me at my work desk yesterday.
If you had already known Microsoft New World of Work, all except secretaries have their own desks. We are mobile. So whenever I enter the office, I choose which floor I head to and pick out which desk I would like to seat.

Ok, but that is not the point. My point is, many actually wonder how I handle my tuition classes which is every day except Sunday and Her Closet and my new exploration on photography.

Truth is, me and Alfi have a timetable where there will be days when I teach and he takes care of Rania. This year, tuition is more overwhelming for me than for Alfi.
During times when both of us are busy in the evening, mummy will help watch over Rania.

Honestly, I did not expect to be overwhelmed with tuition classes this year but I think with the intention to have a second one, Allah always makes it more favourable for us.

This is challenging. Juggling everything at once.
Which is why I am very appreciative with my HC customers for being very forgiving if i forget their mails or i missed out sometimes. I am human and thus I make errors all the time.

This year, work sends me to NTU/NIE 4 times a week and backend works are already starting the moment I was offered this new position ON TOP of whatever government marketing projects I am working on now. I love the new work challenge. I am 30, still young in the industry and many more to explore and I am willing to ride the wave.

My co-managers and directors were asking if I was planning another one.
I was honest and said yes, yet no one gave me the look of,"I wish I didn't give you the promotion." With that, I am very thankful for their support.

This new challenge came unexpectedly. I was willing to 'rot' in Microsoft because it is so family friendly and flexible working hours. But things will change. Travelling from mid-east to the end of the east-west line and travelling further is no joke.

I pray He will help me through these moments.
I thank Him for this opportunity and a very good support system. I thank Alfi for asking me to look on the bright side because I was quite resistant to this change. I thank my mom for giving me the support to take care of Rania. I thank my maid (though she can be a drama queen) for helping taking care of Rania.

This is my path.
It is never easy for working mothers and I underestimated them before I became a mother.

Today, many times, I sleep while (or sometimes before) putting Rania to bed (and she is still playing peek-a-boo with her sleeping mummy). I spend less time with her.
But I try to play games with her at night while lying in bed. Teaching her the basics of 1,2,3 or A,B,C or simple shapes.

And yes dad, it is true that even when you come home tired, you forget all the exhaustion when you see the smile on your child's face.

I am amazed with parenthood and I see the changes in me.
I am sure that I am not the only one facing challenges as a working mom and I would love to hear your challenges as well. Surely, the more children you have, the more you need to handle.

Drop me a comment or an email and rest assured all other working mummies will appreciate.

xoxo

For what the weekend was worth

Good Monday everyone.
So my mission to play with my camera was accomplished, only that I left my camera at my SIL's place which is in Jurong.
Too far for me to pick it up, of which I resorted to my Canon Powershot S95, which is not as great anymore since I had that 1.5 litres of water spilled into it.

The pictures are a little foggy. Still it was my birthday gift 2 years ago that I would not know if I should replace it with EOS M or the full frame Canon 6D
(Slap me for being too much please!)



We had a sluggish weekend this time around. It was already fun but wished it could be better. I was still recovering from flu. Could not help that I cant sleep at night because of my cough and worse, Alfi is now on antibiotics to get rid of his flu as well.

I stopped worrying now because I think falling sick is part and parcel of life. Since I lost my dad, I became a psycho. I kept thinking I was going to die. But my aunty put it in a good way everytime Rania is sick.

"Don't worry, she is collecting stamps. Good for her immunity."

I decided I should sit back and take it easy. Seriously, I am a crazy mother. whenever Rania is down with fever or runny nose or whatsoever, I am taking her temperature every 20 mins and if I am less stress, 30 to 45 mins.
I am worried whenever she is sick and sleeping but I am also worried if she is not sleeping and resting.

Crazy mother!

But the weekend, while Rania's parents were low batt, she was super hyper and active and cheerful and chatty that is hard for the two of us to catch up with her pace.
Even so, she is always successful in carving out a smile on our faces.

On a Friday, I had quality time with my mom. Brought her out for tea and then Alfi joined us later to bring her out for dinner and a walk.




Rania ia not a fan of hairbands, so when she didn't take this one out, I brought HER to the cashier immediately!







Then Saturday, we attended a small birthday party of my nephew and met up with Alfi's family.
(pictures in the next post till I get my camera)

That evening, we knocked out because Alfi was too sick.

It was errands on a Sunday to Alfi's grandparents place, accompanied Alfi to the doctor, rest at home and at night, I went over to Alfi's (instant) brother's place to take some of HC stocks for mailing.

To Rania, her weekend was full with mingling with children and I love it. I would love to see her interact with other children and play.



Here is me, (pardon the naked face, lack of sleep and exhausted self) and the little ones who Rania enjoys playing with!



So while it was not entirely exciting, it wasn't too bad after all.
Looking forward towards the full recovery that we can get swinging again!

So here is my six pic(k)s a week.



How did your weekend go?

Diary of a Mom: Unconditional Love

While I begin to start recovering from my throat infection, the husband and mummy got the viral Rania initially had. 

So tonight, while Baba took some rest, Rania and I caught up some mother-daughter bonding time. No phone nor iPad or laptop or even TV. It was a small room light and just the two of us doing baby-talk.

It is wonderful.

Almost an hour later, my princess started rubbing her eyes and I was looking forward to my rest. As she slept, I thought of how wonderful life as a mother is.

Being a mom means that my child will cry when she is tired and sleepy and I will rock her to sleep as she snuggle into my chest, keeping her bolster close till she drifts into sleep. I kissed her eyes and forehead and hold her closer. This is a gift I can never thank Allah enough.

I sat there a while longer, enjoying the quiet moments before I put her in the playpen. Tonight, she cannot co-sleep with us, afraid she will get infected again. I miss her already.

Have a wonderful Sunday everyone and help me pray that everyone in my family gets well soon, InsyaAllah.

Sleep tight everyone.

XOXO