On Parenting: Come and Play!

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Growing up in a place where you have 7 adults (including the maid) and no one else makes Rania really different from many other children.

Or that is how I see it.

One of my main concerns is that she refuses to play with friends her age. She is more comfortable alone.
Many parents share with me that it is good to have her independent. Yes, it is. There are many times where I can put her current exciting toys in front of her, switch on the telly and I can be seated at the corner doing my work while she plays.
She could play on her own for about 45mins to an hour before she whines up to me.

No matter how many times I bring her out with her cousins, she still prefers to be alone.

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Some parents advised me that it is too young to educate her. So I think I might give her a little more space and time since she is only turning 16 months.
(I think I am a crazy mother)

But as it is, I am trying all that I can to have her warmed up.

I try to be a good role model.
I end up playing with the other children, just to send a signal to Rania that it is ok. They wont eat.
Result: She will feel that these children intruded her private space with her mummy that she comes by and sit on my lap and watch me play. Then she gives me hugs. And I will get distracted.

I try to give her some encouragement to mingle, play and socialize
Result: She loves socializing anyone who is at least 2 years her senior. She would pull me and bring me to a boy who is 7 and let go of my hands and smile at the boy. The boy was so dumbstruck okay!
Rania is awesome with my SIL (15 years old) and her cousin (5 years old). With her cousins born in the same year is still a no-go.

I try to learn Rania's character by watching her interact with other kids
Result: It is common for any child to take toys which do not belong to her. Today, I only need to say,"Rania, it is not yours." and she will dropped the item or allow me to return the toy without her crying.
Tip: After that I will quickly distract Rania with other toys of hers so that she won't hold the feeling of sadness in her for so long.

Rania is a very happy-go-lucky girl and she is most contented with the simplest thing.

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Even on her own.

To me, what is most important is that she has a memorable journey with her childhood that someday she tells me that she wants her children to have the childhood I have given her.

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For now, I let her grow up in her comfortable space and in time, I shall revisit this again.
She did make progress. Slow progress but more importantly it is progress.

She takes 4 hours to laugh and giggle with cousins her age.
Good job mummy!

p.s: It is very important for us mothers to give ourselves a pat on the back. It helps in making us happy mummies.

This post is brought to you by Pampers Singapore.

6 comments:

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    1. Thank you sweetie! I wish I can whip out my DSLR and take better pictures of her but I am too lazy to take that out. Plus I don't know where the husband keeps the stuffs! he is a neat freak!

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  2. No worries, Mima! :) Thats pretty common esply if she's the only baby/child in the family.. As much as I wished my son to be sociable, it didn't workout as I hoped for. It gets even more challenging as we are living overseas and no cuzzins for him to play with, except for his daycare friends. And that too didn't happen until he is abt 2+. I was told by his daycare teacher, kids at 2yrs play side-by-side (not together), but by 3yrs old, they will then start to play together. So, just enjoy motherhood and eventually, in no time..you'll see her change! Have fun and keep on smiling! <3

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    1. Oh my!!! Thank you for sharing! You have no idea how relieved I am!!! So my baby's normal! hhahhaha

      yeah, i think if you are living abroad, everything is harder because you have very limited resources. But just out of curiosity, does your kid fall sick easily when he goes to daycare?

      I hope you are enjoying your motherhood abroad too. Im sure it is not as stressful as having it here in SG. lol!

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    2. My husband and I are both working full-time, and our son went to a home daycare when he was 10mths old. Frankly, I was also worried that he might fall sick easily. But, we soon realised that, eversince he went to daycare at a very young age, his immunity was stronger compared to those that went to kindergarten at a later age. Yes, he did get sick once in a while due to the frequent interactions with other kids, but his body is able to fight it fast. Especially now that he is in a sch-centred daycare (~24 kids/class), he is even more exposed to kids from different backgrounds. But so far, alhamdulillah, no complications with his immunity. Hmm..guess sending kids early to daycare do have its advantages too ya.. :)

      Anyway Mima, I do hear you..I guess you're not alone. For us abroad, motherhood may not be as stressful as compared to SG in some ways, but we do have our other set of challenges too, But whatever it is, as long as we try our best and get as much advices from those before us, insyallah our child, he/she will be fine. For me, I personally feel that raising a child is all about trial-and-error, one that works on one child, may not work on the other. But I always take in whatever experiences others had with a grain of salt. And most imptly, give them lots of love and care.. By the way, you're doing fine there, Mima... no worries.. :D

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  3. Salam, sis Mima. Congrats on ur pregnancy. It's a normal phase. My son till today still looks & runs up to older boys or girls to play with. But Alhamdulillah, @ home he still plays with his younger sister. When we are out, he'll ask to be taken out frm his stroller & run abt. So when the younger sees what abg is doing, she would what to follow suit. Dun worry, sis Mima, we are doing fine. Take care.

    Nuraidah

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