This birth story is coming in very late but it doesn't matter.
Because every birth story is unique. You can give birth 10 times and you have 10 stories to tell.
Thanks to the maids (yeah I changed 4 in 8 months) that all I ever was doing in the house was orientation and getting all stressed up because they are just getting on my nerves. Please don't judge me because I am very nice to maids.
I believe they are here to find money to bring back to their home but alas, not many have that mindset.

But yeah, so far my pregnancy with Riduan was pretty smooth. Asthma was at bay despite whenever I am hit with flu, it will drag for two weeks. This birth story is a must write. Because I wrote one for Rania.
So if I am planning to have 5 kids (6 is bonus, 7th heaven is the limit), there will be at least 5 birth stories to tell.

With Riduan, again, I was hospitalised on 1st October for high blood pressure and then on hospitalisation leave for 2 weeks. In between, I went for another check up at 36 weeks. I was already 2cm dilated. So gynae suggested that we arrange for a delivery the following week. Otherwise if there was any pain, I have to check into the labour ward.

Challenging times because Alfi would not allow me to carry Rania and he said I must have a lot of bed rest. I was going to die if it was bed rest!
I insisted to go out and take a walk. Window shop. Have coffee. Whatever that makes me get out of the house and breathe the air outside.

So on 10th Oct, I felt aching pain and heavy down there. I checked into the labour ward thinking that I was going to deliver but was sent home because they felt that it would be too premature to induce. Baby was 36week +4 days.
I found out later on that there were not enough beds. Everyone wanted to give birth on 10-10.

So I was having Braxton Hicks and was in pain on and off all the time. I told Alfi I wanted to deliver because I rather have him out then having to withstand the pain. Again we realised it was a bad date. 13-10-13.
We called the hospital and again they said all beds were full. Darn.

15th Oct was Hari Raya Haji. I was glad I booked my scheduled induce delivery on the 16th. I was playing with the holidays and making sure that Alfi could spend as much time with me.
16th Oct was also full but luckily mine was pre-booked.

We were told to arrive the hospital at 6am on that day but since I have trouble sleeping and I didnt want to rush to the hospital.
I was heavy and any anxiety will not help.
Before I left, I gave Rania kisses and hugged her till Alfi was ready to go. I felt very emotional that she was no longer going to be the only child. I enjoyed splurging all my attention to her and that was going to end.

So we arrived the hospital at 8.30am. Of course got some warning from the nurses but who cares. I am with KT Tan.
*lol*

A revisit to the labour ward. It was the same configuration during Rania's birth and I am only happy and comfortable to accept it. Somehow I feel a different configuration may affect my senses. hahaha! I am not very receptive to change actually.



These are always must take pictures.





The anticipation of the new baby.

I knew what my birthing plan was going to be. Epidural.
I was not going to let medical technology go to waste. I wanted to be as comfortable as I can when I deliver.
I had no pain delivering Rania and the anaesthetist was awesome.

Apparently, my fate with Riduan was not the same. As mine was induced labour, they had to break my waterbag and since I looked comfortable, I was not given my epidural. They yanked me up there again and again. I bled and bled but the waterbag was not broken.
At the third try and so much prayers to Him, they manage to break my waterbag.

One hour later no pain and then they kicked in the oxytocin.
Bearable pain came in an hour later. I was dilated 3.5cm 3 hours later. It felt like eternity.
Family and friends were probably anticipating a quick delivery especially when it was the second one.

So I requested for the epidural, hoping I can relax and dilate faster.
I was shocked when Alfi was not allowed during the procedure, followed by disappointed and scared.
No one can comfort me like Alfi does. Plus during the procedure, I will squeeze Alfi's hands and he will just have to take the pain. I cannot do that with a nurse!!! Oh well, I did and she released her hand.

The anaesthetist I got was also sucky. She was pan-asian and snobbish and I could feel that she didn't do as good a job as the previous one I had.
I was still feeling pain and discomfort because she gave me half the dose than I previously had. During the labour process, I was told that I could only press for the morphine every 15 mins. And I did.
Little did I know that the more you keep pressing, the machine is intelligent enough to know that patient is in pain and release the morphine faster.

Towards the end I was really suffering.

At 6.50pm I complained of pain. Epidural wore off.
Nurses check and I was 5cm dilated. I was like,"what?!?! half way more to go?"

I didn't want to be a pain too so since I was only 5cm dilated, I let them take their time a little.
Then in 20 mins, I complained of pain again. They checked me and I was fully dilated.

Yes! It was 5 cm in 20 minutes!!!!




I was crying asking for epidural. Plus I was hungry so the gynae was saying,"ok you hungry right? Quickly push and after that can eat."
In my head I was like,"what the hell!! come lah come lah let's push. Get it over and done with!!!"

This time around, I knew how it feels like to have the real contractions and having to push a baby.
I was asking myself what did I get myself into and I swore I was not going to go through this again. But I am a very objective person. So I just wanted to get the baby out.
I pushed more than I needed to with Rania. Probably because Riduan was a bigger baby.

3 pushes to crown and 6 pushes for Riduan to greet all of us. The moment he came out, I was so relief and tears flowed down my eyes.
Two times in a row Alfi cried at my delivery and again he gave me a peck on the forehead and another on the lips.




Moments after delivery



We welcomed guests with goodies. I have this habit of staying a bit longer at the hospital so that I can recover better.
I am patient enough to bring the baby home. Plus, I am more comfortable for guests to come by my ward to visit me and the baby.





During my stay, I try to spend a lot of time with Rania. I feel for her that she was no longer the only child.



Here was Riduan at Day 1 to 3 at the hospital







Yes I bottle fed him from the beginning. Nurses warned me that the baby will get confused with a mother's nipple and the bottle's nipple. I think its bullshit. When the baby is hungry, they will surely accept ANY nipple.
Today I am still breastfeeding Riduan. Not fully since I am already at work but I have been successful. He still wants to latch to me, especially before his naptimes.

3 days later it was take home baby.



8 months later, here is my baby boy.



I know I have said so much about not fancying a baby boy but I am here to declare that I swallow my words.
He is such a smiley and friendly baby that it is so easy for anyone to fall in love with him. Everyone adores him with his carefree nature.

I'm sorry son. It was just me and my hormones that got the better of me probably but I am here to love you for the rest of my life.
Rania is my sunshine. You are my wombat.

I love you both. Not equally. Not the same. But very much sincerely.

What to expect at 32 weeks

It is very quick how one week move in to another and another and by the time it comes to realization, I start to panic.
Alhamdulillah I received a lot of hand-me-downs for this baby boy. More than what I used to have for Rania.
I have a carton of shoes just for my little boy and tons of clothes!

Rezeki anak masing

But the Malays believe that as the number of children grows, so will your share and the children's share.
Somehow, we always manage to make ends meet. Feed mouths and have an extra little thing or two.
That is Allah's promise.

And surprisingly, it is the same promise believed by the Christians as well and sometimes I wonder why many of us or them would like to stop at 1 or 2 children, blaming the Singapore living standards.
I may not understand but I planted a little bit of faith and keep going. So when many said I am lucky to have a girl and a boy and that I can "close shop", I really pray that that would not be the case.

I do have to admit though that I do not have as much energy this pregnancy as in the last.
I take comfort for the fact that every pregnancy is different not because I am OLD!!!
*lol*
Alhamdulillah, my asthma did not flare up as terribly as it did during the first pregnancy. I am very thankful.
Of course my body is increasingly more sensitive with allergens at each pregnancy but being breathless is really no fun.

As any other normal pregnancy moms, I do download those apps to track my little one's development.
When I hit 12 weeks, I was like,"Yeay! Safe zone now. Chances of miscarriage is halved!"
Then when I reach about 17 weeks, I was like,"I am in my second trimester! The best trimester!"
When I was 20-ish, I was like,"Are we halfway?" Because the engine was starting to wear out. The stomach got bigger. Walking was quite a chore. Rania started to be so clingy.

Then I hit the 30-ish week.
I went from,"Wah! We reach the third milestone already!" to "Are we there yet?"

But the time ticks pretty quickly. Just when I read I was in my 31st week and wanted to blog, there was a notification after a few days that I was in my 32nd week!
That fast?
Or have I become a tortoise.

This is me over the past two weeks. There isn't much difference about how big I am.. but I am definitely huge.
Thank goodness, despite my food rampage, I didn't put on as much as I did when I was pregnant with Rania.
Oh well.. let's hope the weight loss will also be easier.




Over the past few weeks, my little princess has been very clingy with me.
Entering into the house from work, she will squeal and spin and squeal and laugh that it makes me fall in love with her all over again.
Most times, she will refuse to let Alfi carry her and end up strangling my neck when Alfi tried to pull her from me.
A lot of people advise me against carrying Rania and a lot also wondered how I can manage carrying Rania with my tummy so huge.
Sometimes we as mothers do not have a choice. When the child wants you, there is no negotiation to that.

Rania will only sleep when I lay beside her and pat her to bed.
Alfi will always have a hard time putting her to bed while I am in the shower. The minute I come back into the room, she will run across the bed and say" mummy.. mummy.."
Again, how can you refuse that.

She has grown up so much over the past 20 months and Alfi and I still gushed about what a big girl she is now.
She has already called herself Kakak Nia.
I didn't even think about it!




I am sure I will miss her when her little brother arrives but I pray I will be a better mother being to juggle all my activities, work and then two children.

Now I am just savouring my times with Alfi and our little girl.
I promise Alfi a date which I always end up bringing Rania (not that Alfi minds) so I need to put my mind to it.

The end game is scheduled on 27 Oct which I hope to deliver right after Hari Raya Haji.
Yes, I am ready to receive him from down under.

xoxo

Life Changes

So much has happened over the past 4 to 6 weeks that I have been pretty quiet.
I have put on much weight now. I may just hit the 90kg mark again.
Thank god I have not yet walked like a penguin but I am definitely walking slower now.

Entering into the third trimester now has been quite challenging and some of these challenges were something I did not forsee.
One big example was having Rania being extremely clingy with me.
While I enjoy her running to the door screaming "Mummy" repeatedly everytime I come home from work, it also means that I have to pick her up and carry her, kiss her all over and ask her how was her day without sitting down.

This is also the time when the 'nesting period' sets in.
So I end up cleaning my own room, packing and repacking, trying to make some space for the little baby boy.
It is really a challenge to maintain an upcoming family of 4 and Her Closet in the same room. Just that in mind makes me miss my home in AMK and the space I can potentially have.
But the hubby is also worried that I need those extra pair of hands to help me when baby no. 2 comes.

Over the weeks, I bid goodbye to Android (especially HTC), a semi-goodbye to Windows (because it is still awesome when it comes to my work productivity) and welcome Apple into my life episodes.
Hmmmm.. yeah.. finally.
I was very resistant to step into the Apple world but it is very key for me for get connected to the people in the social network. That is where I get my daily doses of chats and sharing among the sisters. My online business works very well with an iPhone apparently.
I love the photography apps available to feed my obsession. I love the fact that I do not need to carry my iPad around anymore. Diaper bags are an ease now.

So switching to an iPhone made me a happy girl though I must admit it takes a lot of discipline to put the phone aside.
Plus, I ended up doing more microblogging than blogging.

I think my Instagram pictures looked better. More of character.
You know how a picture tells 1000 words. Maybe I can do it not with 10,000 words.





How I find it very convenient not to lug around my camera because I do it all on the iPhone.
Third trimester, back ache, sleepless nights, the iPhone keeps me company because Alfi bought me a 3m long cable wire where I can play with my IG, upload videos, watch YouTube and play Candy Crush while lying on the bed.

Pampered much?
Perks of being married. Bonus to be pregnant.

*lol*

So here is how I spend my Eid.
4 days of visiting and the body gave up on me.



I'm in the 30th week now.
7 more weeks to go till full term and looking forward to the maternity leave.

It is probably no rest time for me since the newborn will feed all the time and give me sleepless night but I am looking forward to use this time to spend time with my children.
It's amazing how my hair stands when I use the word 'children'

First it was just me and Alfi. Then we had a little girl. Now another addition coming along.
Trust me, I swear there is still a lot of space in our hearts to welcome more.

Just the other day, I shared with Alfi that if I were given a choice between luxury and children, I will choose children.
He smiled.
One of the reasons why we got married was because we agreed to have a big family and having one just makes me look forward to grow old with him.

May Allah continue to bless us with so much love and joy.
It is truly a priceless gift.

xoxo

3 steaks in a row!

When many found out that I am carrying a son, they thought meat was a huge part of my craving.
I thought that was queer.
From the time I was pregnant till I hit the 6-month mark, I was craving nothing but vegetables and fruits.

I would go off in search of fruits every week.
Juicy fruits.
Watermelon, Pink guavas, honeydew, rock melon, apples/
I would crave for fruit juices. Apple juice and apple-carrot was my favourite.
I would crave so much for vegetables. For quick fixes, I will head down to a Yong Tau Fu stall and grab spinach with kangkung. Mostly spinach.
And that would be it. I would not even eat it with rice or noodles!

Which was also the reason why I was very confident I was carrying a girl.

So, knowing its a boy in me, I found it very weird that I was not asking for any sort of meat at all. Not even chicken!
But I was never a meat person anyway.
During my courting days and marriage days with Alfi for the past 5 years, there was never a moment when I told him I was craving for beef!

Then suddenly, mid last week, I suddenly craved for steak!
*lol*

And the craving hit hard!!!
So within minutes, I planned out where are the places I would like to try. Like I said, I was not into any beef.
So eating steak is a first time to me anywhere in Singapore.

The only beef I ate was Beef Hor Fun and Ribs at KL's Tony Romas. Period.

I hit Le Steak.
At the entrance, we were told that waiting time was 40 mins!
What?!?!?! 40mins just to get a table.
I was hungry!!!

So I replanned the entire craving journey.

First I headed to 89.7 at Changi on Friday night. It was my first steak.
To taste that beef in my mouth was heaven!
Mash potatoes, carrots, corn and broccoli was my favourite!

Price was only $12.90 per dish.



I went home smiling but I told Alfi that I could get used to this.

Two days later on a Sunday night, I was in search for steak again and we decided to go to Spize.
This time, it was a ribeye steak.
I didn't know what was the difference with all of these steak but I was told that grass-fed cows have more tender and sweet meat.



Sinking my teeth into this got me all excited!
Boy was I glad that Rania was sleeping during my meal. I could concentrate and enjoy my steak.
Meat was sweet, sauce was lovely and I love their crunchy corn. I wish I can have more broccoli though.

Price: $19.90 per dish but trust me, I will pay for this kind of quality.

Then, after posting on Facebook, a lot told me to try Botak Jones at Tang Tea House.
I told Alfi,"Come let's do it before we start fasting. I won't disturb your terawih days."
*lol*

So we last night.



They did not have anymore ribeye so I settled for sirloin steak.
For $17.90, I rather add another $2 and have more tender and tastier beef at Spize.

Trust me, blogging about this make my mouth water. I wonder if it is me or the baby inside.

Still, nonetheless, I went home smiling.
3 steaks in a week.
My sister was 'horrified' about my steak rampage but it was nice to hear Alfi said,"Wait till you are pregnant."

So just when I thought I would have had enough, I proposed to Alfi to have steak again on a weekend in Ramadhan.
Supper after terawih.

*lol*

Opportunist!

Midweek Food for thought: Marriage to us

It is always during pregnancy that I will cry in my sleep.
I cry in my sleep because I always end up dreaming that he is cheating on me with another woman and out of frustration, I will cry.
During my first pregnancy, I went through the same phase - many times.

So during this pregnancy, Alfi was caught off-guard with my cries once.
Then after he was reminded of his experience, he will quickly wake me up when I end up crying in my sleep and said,"No, I am not cheating on you."

I am always very appreciative when he understood my struggles and leftover struggles of losing my dad, when he understood my hormones during pregnancy and of course my fickleness in planning things out.
Women are one of the worst in planning. While I am open to be more impromptu, an engineer brain like him prefers schedules to be more structured.

Last night when Alfi was sleeping and Rania cuddling up to him, I had my own me-time (at 2am in the morning after preparing my presentation slides for today). I was considering whether to play Candy Crush or watch E!News. So I was checking my social media and saw Mufti Menk was on Twitter. I followed him and click on the link of his website.

I diverted my attention.

I clicked on his audio on the topic he just delivered recently in Singapore. I could not get tickets and I didn't quite mind. I did not follow him. I did not hear him before despite a lot of our brothers and sisters share his quotes and speeches on Facebook.
So actually, I really wanted to know what is so awesome about this guy.

I admit work and having my hands tied took me quite far from the things I still need to focus - knowledge of religion.

He shared something which caught my ears despite my eyes were half closed on the bed. I picked up my phone and texted Alfi (yes, while he was sleeping)

"Five years ago when you met me, I was a flower full of colour and vibrance. You picked me up and married me. Over time, I may wilt and lose my colour but remember the flower you picked up. It was your eyes who determined I was the one and I pray you will keep that in your heart."

10 hours later after we rushed off for work and settled down in the office, he replied.

"You are one flower that will never wilt in my heart for you grow inside me and I will always put nutrition and life in you as long as I live."


I teared.

So I told him I am hormonal. I know I married the perfect man for me.

Go pick up your phone and text something nice and romantic to your spouse. You may just end up hormonal like me!
These are rare moments for me and Alfi because most times, our texts are more naughty.

xoxo

Eat with your Family Day

Last Friday was Eat with you family Day.
Microsoft employees were given time off at 3pm to go back home early to their family.
Alas I was stuck in a meeting till 4.30 and when I reached home at 5pm, I was rushing for some urgent works via email.

I was actually more eager to get home early and make my way to Motherhood Expo fair with Alfi's godfamily's nephew's wife.
Complicated right?
But our relationship isn't.
*lol*
It helps that I get along with almost anyone and they are very warm and accommodating.

So by the time I reached expo it was 7.30pm and the exhibition was huge.
Alfi was always reminding me to find what I need first! But that is so hard because I will be hopping here and there and then get confused.

So this is what I came back with.
Tons and tons of Pampers. I told you I am making the switch and I am really loving it.



A lot of mummies actually message me via FB and my mobile to ask if Pampers was really the trusted brand.
I stand by it and told them I was not bull-shitting on my blog just because I am getting free stuffs.
We as bloggers can always not agree with their marketing if we feel it is not good enough.

Can you see I even bought diapers for my newborn!!!
I would have bought more if not for the lack of space in my room.
From a 5-room to a 12meter square room, it has become a karang guni place. One more year to go.
My mom's place will be enbloc and it is a good time excuse for me to shift out (without hurting my mom).
We started off staying in that room just the two of us. Then we became 3 and now coming 4.
It is really cramping up!

Can't you tell from the videos I have been posting up about Rania?
*lol*

I keep telling myself it is just a phase.

So anyway, it didn't turn out a quiet eat with your family day. That Friday night, after the fair, we went to get awesome food at Changi 89.7
And it is good to see Rania starting to build relationships with children her age.




Then over on Sunday, this pregnant woman was craving for satay and there we head off to Satay by the Bay. Going on a Sunday was wrong timing. Too many satay orders that the place was awfully stuffy.









Nonetheless, company was great and we ended off the day with Mac'D drive-through ice cream.

Today I am encountering Monday Blues.
Sometimes I wish weekends were longer.

xoxo

So far, like that.

I have so many things to blame on.
I need to blame on my HTC phone for making me so impaired. There was a time where I could not take photos, of which until today I am unable to upload them onto Instagram.

I have a mouthful to talk about HTC services and how they eventually did not repair my phone because they mentioned that my phone was dipped into water. They must be kidding me!
It has not once touched into water and Alfi and I have been wasting our time arguing on the phone and going down to their service centers, the phone was not repaired. They even had the cheek to charge me evaluation fee for my phone which is still under warranty.

Tell me who would not be a hantu!
That, I swear is my first and last HTC.

Cut the story short, my team pitied my phone story (more like the need to have me a phone call away) that they handed over to me a Windows 8 phone.
Good thing is that it saves me money to purchase another phone. Many question me about the phone and mock me for being on a Windows platform. I am in the role where I need to walk the talk on MS Business Productivity.
Yes, it gives huge productivity gains in accessing my emails, referring to my meeting notes on One Note and then being on the move and running a conference with Lync and it is all in the phone.

But I became less social productive.
I don't like the Facebook user interface. I didn't like how everyone reads their Watsapp messages and laughing over it and here I am waiting for the app to launch. Yeah it is laggy like that.

While the Carl Ziess camera can be awesome with still life, it lags in focusing.

So please imagine my frustration.

But life has been great! Maybe because I feel guilty that I do not spend enough time with Rania on weekdays, teaching 7 sessions squeezed into 3 or 4 evenings.
That is the life of any typical working mom isn't it?

Some view it as pitiful that I need to work so hard but tuition is truly one of my passion. It is a time where I can choose students I want to groom and give them confidence in education. Plus, it is very important (in my opinion) that I stay relevant with syllabus so that when Rania goes to school, I am not in shock of how education evolved or how kiasu schools are.

In fact, during hosting one of the schools in Microsoft, I wanted to chat up with a teacher found out that she is my blog reader. Doesn't it just make networking easier? :)

Talking about work, it has been nothing but crazy!!!!
One morning I can be in Woodlands at 9am, the next morning I can be at Punggol at 8am and I most times, I cannot even find time to come by the office. Or by the time I need to head back to the office, I am all exhausted that I will make my way home and have a pile of follow-ups after that.

That explains why I neglect my photography and Her Closet and blogging but I am missing all these.
These are what I love! So I am trying very hard to make a come back.

Which is why I always look forward to weekends. It is my time with my dearest husband and daughter and I will balance the remaining with my own family, my in-laws and my foster in-laws which are like my own.

I have tons of photos on my SD card but these are pictures taken from the phone and a very quick update

This is my little girl, all grown up and mummy is so happy to be able to bunch up some hair to tie (though she hates it!)



Dinner with my family



Disclaimer: This picture was taken only during red-light stop. No one was harmed and Rania went to the back of the car when her daddy needs to move off.



I love gluttony (occasionally)



This is Rania when Mummy is at work. She forgets that people in the house sends me 'report card' like this via watsapp



A weekend at the zoo with my in-laws (though I don't have their pictures here)









Lunch date with my cousin aka my bridesmaid. Its amazing how we rarely meet and yet we sizzle everytime we do.



Now it is time to grab hold of my SD cards and work on the umrah pics, Dubai pics, zoo pics, etc etc.
I will be blogging again in no time.

Watch this space.

p.s: My blog traffic went down my 70% but for the 30% who stayed and constantly came to visit, THANK YOU! It means a lot to me.

xoxo