I am already too tired to plan everything ahead and then get disappointed at times. So, it is always more exciting when impromptu.
For example, since I got married, I never plan for a child. And then they came like popcorns! Pop! Pop! Pop! 3 times.
See! What a joy!
Lol!
As much as I am looking forward to 2016, I am also very scared of what the future holds for me and my family. I only and always pray that we will all be kept in good health and in His blessings. I am more than happy to say goodbye to 2015 but at the same time, treachery onto a unknown future is scary as well.
Entrepreneurship struggles:
In 2015, Alfi and I made a decision to take a break from work. Embark on entrepreneurship and spend more time with the family especially when our third baby was coming. Was it easy? No. It was hell. But we pulled through the year and we made many triumphant memories along the way.
If you know of everyone sharing with you the goodness of entrepreneurship as if it is a bed of roses, never believe them 100%. The road is tough. It takes more than just resilience and perseverance. If you are doing a side business while working, it is a different story altogether. Alfi and I relied entirely on our skills and network to have things going in the house.
We aren't millionaires but we definitely came out of 2015 feeling proud that we pulled through thus far. We came out of 2015 stronger than we were before. Smarter, or shall I say more knowledgeable than we were before. We see more colours of people. We realised that the grass is not necessary greener on this side, as what you read in web journals on entrepreneurship. We sat back and reflected how we survived 2015 with 3 kids and we had no idea. It was the rezeki and barakah of our precious gifts - our children.
Will we continue this route? Insya Allah. We leave it all to Him to guide us and see if this route is best for family.
Desperately a Housewife:
It was the year that I changed my status from being a working mom to a housewife. It was not by choice to be exact. I had a tough pregnancy because of work discrimination. I guess after the third pregnancy over a span of 5 years in the same company, they think I am productive at night instead. Oh well. It was not a place to stay anyway. I couldn't drown myself in toxic environment anymore.
Here is the big but. But when I thought I was game to head back to the workforce after my maternity leave, I was held back totally by my baby girl. Largely due to the stress levels I had during my pregnancy and delivery, Radiah had reflux for 6 months and was intensely stress and clingy baby, only wanting to suckle on the good stuffs (you know what I mean). I was lucky that I had Alfi at home with me most times because I no longer had a maid (I refuse to die standing with one). Being a housewife was not a choice. I was in a situation where I could not go back to the workforce. I truly believe it is God's work to make my life as such. It makes me grounded and stay put.
In brief, as much as all the stress I had with a newborn and 2 other very young children, not being able to see my bank account magically have money inside at the end of every month, I was deeply happy. Even when Alfi had to leave his whole family behind for 2 weeks to di his Umrah. I really thank my mom for putting up at my place during that time, tolerating the cries, the mess, the riot, everything!
Truth is, I was happy that I managed to see my children grow up from morning till night, everyday for the whole of 2015. I was there when the kids are sick at every moment. I was there to cook and feed everyone in the house which makes me realise the depth of love I have for my family. I was there to make sure that the kids were having enough nutrients and water. I was there to make sure the kids were able to spend time in playgrounds and with their Nani.
Those moments are precious.
Of course, we kept our expenses lean. Alhamdulillah despite the periods we had stormy weather, we felt we gave the kids more than enough. In fact, they refused to have a bibik (maid) at home which is a trophy statement for me.
I became smarter in spending and even working out the household expenses. The children still have nice clothes and they get to have whatever they like to eat. Toys was every week or so. Mummy gets a bag or two in a year, a shoe or two. I don't need much. I want a lot! But never needing them. (Needs vs Wants)
Yes, I have a husband who gives me all his earnings and let me decide on expenditure. I will end up just making sure he has cash in his wallet, petrol in his car, season parking settle, remind him of insurance and road tax and of course check his account if he has some money to spend.
But trust me, without a maid, I save a lot (and I really mean a lot!) of money!
2016:
The husband and I are looking forward to 2016. We made ourselves smarter this year than last year. We learn about people well enough. It is also the year where Rania will start school. Schedules and priorities will change. Another year of settling down, hoping to find a new home. Another year of changes. Both Alfi and I are tuned, maybe immune but we take a day at a time.
To my family,
We have braved the storm in 2015. A year we hope to normalise and tie the loose ends. Each and everyone is a gift from God to me and the 5 of us is what I treasure most.
May we snap many more pretty pictures and weave beautiful memories together in good health.
In summary, this is how I will showcase my 2015.
To many good days in 2016, AMIN!
