Many thought we were kidding to jump into the marriage boat too fast but I swear you can just tell if that was the person you wanted to settle down for the rest of your life.
Sure, there are things I didn't forsee when I married him. Like he just doesn't care if he farts loudly in public.
But any of those sorts are mediocre to me - thank god!
Honestly, I was still adjusting life as a married woman. My roles multifold. From being a daughter-in-law, to a wife, to my career and the toughest of all was time away from my mom. Something which I have spent enormous portion of my life with. Setting expectations were hard.
By April 2011, I conceived Rania.
It felt just like yesterday that our honeymoon ended. I was not ready to have a child but at the same time I knew that I could not wait any longer than I already did. But the thought of entering into another phase scares me and I was brutally honest about it in my previous posts.
Life took a turn. I was busy with work, home business and one tuition.
Still, Alfi and I had a lot of time to play around and date. Only that movies were a chore because by the time I entered my third trimester, Alfi will need to rub my back every 30 mins in the movie theatre and watching movies like Transformers was no joke.
We have our decaf coffee dates still and ate wherever I wanted to.
Then Rania came just before Christmas. She was truly a bundle of joy, bringing tears to both her parents - surprisingly. I mean I didn't think we were going to cry but we did!
Reality set in when we came home and all the attention was on her. Everyone's attention was on her.
Back then, I did not have a maid and did everything on my own during my maternity leave.
There was one thing Alfi and I didn't see coming. Our dates together are totally compromised.
During my pregnancy, we made a pact to date at least once a week. Then when Rania was born, we told ourselves that we would fix dates every fornightly.
Today after 16 months, I only dated my husband once. Then I was so upset how much I probably would have prioritized my marriage. Then I realized dates are just something quantifiable.
Plus, we are juggling more things today than we were a year ago. With the new pregnancy, work, me juggling 7 tuition classes a week and Alfi juggling with 6 classes a week, time was barely on our side.
There are many more which I practiced daily with Alfi. Like calling him during office hours, asking him his plans and working around my schedule so that I can see him for lunches or meet him at his workplace and we head home together. We always end our phone calls with 'I love you' and 'Take care'.
Sometimes we practice having breakfast together and when I reach office, I will just send him a quick text message saying,"I miss you already." or "can't wait to see you later."
Bottom line, Rania is a gift to us.
Life would not have had so many smiles without her.
But so is Alfi to me. He is my pillar of strength and my other mutually exclusive half.
We do share our memories of what it was like during pre-baby times. We do miss it.
The first step is to let Rania sleep on her own after 16 months and while she has been great, the parents have been having withdrawal.
So I guess life really changes. But different isn't always bad.
We do have cheeky moments, many laughs and stolen moments. We are just short of going out on dates.
But this is marriage life.
While I think it is necessary to spark the flame, I think we don't need to be rigid in doing up a dating schedule.
I still like things being a little impromptu. It creates a little bit more excitement.
How do you maintain that spark in your marriage?
Share with my readers and I a little thing or two and maybe we could put the ideas to good use this coming Labour Day holiday or weekend!
This post is brought to you by Pampers Singapore
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