Ramadhan & Pregnancy

I really do not know a good way to start this entry.
So I will just do the bull-style and address this head on. A post with loads of words that spells hormones.

p/s: I have not been hormonal except the emotional crying part when I see touching things. I am rarely temperamental. Mostly happy and crying.

There are a lot of women who gloat about pregnancy. Ok, maybe gloat is a little too harsh. What I am saying is that too many women think that pregnancy is the most beautiful thing in the whole wide world.

Ok, I really beg to differ.
True, the process of getting pregnant, how the handsome sperm meets the cute egg and that turn into a little human being who we will love for the rest of our lives, is indeed beautiful.
Yes, that is beautiful. That is one of the reasons why I always believe He is the Almighty.

There is one thing that I need to make clear before I moved on.
I did not embark pregnancy with negativity. I am never that sort of person.
But I have always embraced pregnancy with reality.
Taking it step by step and following through the motion with consciousness.

I bled in my first trimester. Throughout my first trimester.
God knows how frantic I was rushing to the clinic everytime with the husband. We had to rush our work and leave office earlier to make sure that everything is ok.
It is not something that we can wait over the weekend and visit the clinic.
Thousands of dollars spent on the gynae fees.

In fact, till today, my gynae does not have any anatenal package but I won't complain because she is good. Mom is happy because she has steady hands and very good sense of sight and smell.

Still in the first trimester, the tummy was huge. It was develops pretty fast in the early stage, despite my weight gain of only 5kg when I completed my first trimester.
I remember ranting about people saying too much too often.
Being me, I am quick to brush it off. In fact, I am very quick to brush off everything quickly. Because to me, such is never worth it.

The gums started to swell and bleed each time I brushed my teeth.
Changing my toothbrush to soft bristles didn't help. I can only wait till I give birth for my gums to hopefully come back in shape.

First trimester was pretty manageable despite all those.

I was excited and looking forward to move into the second trimester. I read everywhere that it was a trimester where everything stablises.
Good bye fatigue. Good bye morning sickness. Hello pregnancy.
Ok I never had morning sickness before and I thought since I didn't face any fatigue during my first trimester, the second will be a breeze.

But I was slammed with the opposite.
It was hello pregnancy, hello fatigue.

I will just so tired anytime the body feels like it. In fact, sleeping time will be at 11pm for me unlike the 3am-s during the first trimester. I sleep longer now and waking up is a chore.

Shifting from side to side will just wake me up momentarily because Junior may be stuck at either ends, making it painful and then I will just lie facing the ceiling. But Junior has been lovely everytime I tell her that Mummy is in pain. She is a great lil one who coorperates.

Now that is amazing!

My hands and feet start to swell. Water retention is crazy.
My watch and rings will get so tight causing so much discomfort.
Dad helped me massage using the reflexology acupressure to help reduce the water retention. It hurts like hell and then I will head to the loo thrice in 4 hours that night.

I have pins and needles on my right arm most of the time throughout the day, resulting in disturbed sleep. Sometimes, I am unable to even hold the pen to write. It is diagnosed as Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

In the first trimester, I had to deal with a lot of heartburn incidences.
Then now I had to deal with a lot of wind. I have to be cautious with the food I eat, making sure it is not too spicy and oily.
The nights when I cannot lie down to sleep, the husband will rub my back and massage acupressure points on my palm to release the wind and make sure I can sleep.

Then there are times that I just do not want to do anything. The body just does not feel right and I just do not know how to explain!

Then come the first day of Ramadhan.
The husband told me to try and fast and see how it goes. That night after Isya' I headed to the doctor, thinking I was having urine infection which was a constant recurrance in the first trimester.
Apparently not.

The body was too heaty and lack of water that each time I pee, it hurts.
Prior to Ramadhan I had the same thing and I drank 2 packets of Ciravescent to relieve the discomfort.
Now the husband puts me on a water parade, ensuring that I am well-hydrated even in the middle of the night and said no to fasting for me.

Sharing some of this on the internet didn't help. Somehow all my symptoms are of those who experience in the third trimester.
You know how everyone can make you feel alien and as if you are just whining too much. Sure, some had it easy but do bear in mind that some do not.

In fact, I do not think that I am having the worst pregnancy. I am very happy that I have a wonderful husband who addresses my food cravings and discomfort everytime and saying sorry to me as if he made a mistake making me pregnant.

Despite the constant frustrations, I am looking forward to the arrival of Junior. I am looking forward for us to be a family. It was exactly why we got married.
I am just not looking forward to the third trimester, not knowing what it has in store for me.

Dad said very kindly to me,
"When you give birth and see your child, you will forget about all your pain."

"Err," I replied in a matter-of-fact voice. "Ya, I know all mothers say like that but then again they may just be painting a pretty picture. I will tell you when my time comes ok."


I drew a line long time ago before I was married life may not be as beautiful as how they write it.

While many women write about how exciting their pregnancy or labour is, I decided to be real and not paint a gloriously nice picture even when it is ugly.

So today, I only carry a piece of comfort to keep myself brainwashed.
It is not the stories many have shared but the reality that millions of women have survived giving birth with or without proper medical attention.

Insya Allah, I can do it too.
Now that is what I tell myself. That, to me is real.

xoxo