I haven’t blogged for the longest time. Not even the birth of my 4th child.

But today, I wanted to type out about my memory 6 years ago. Every Chinese New Year is always a painful phase for me to get by. 

22 Jan 2011 marks my 30th day of confinement after delivering Rania. My first princess. I was so eager to take a step out of the house. Get a breather. 

It was the first day of Chinese New Year. 

My parents and little sister were supposed to drive up to KL on that day. Everything was set. Luggage, hotel and time to leave home. 

5.30am my phone was ringing like crazy but I was too deep into sleep. Rania was giving me a hard time at night. 

Alfi was in the toilet. He quickly came out and he said ,”B, your sister has been calling you. It must be something urgent. You better call her back.”

Calls at that hour are always never pretty. 

I called back. 

My sister was crying over the phone to ask me to go to Changi General Hospital. Dad wasn’t breathing. He is all blue. 

I said ok. 

I sat on my bed. Rania still asleep. I told Alfi what happened. 

“I can’t breathe. I don’t know what to do.”

“Ok you sit down for a while. Let me prepare the diaper bag”

“What diaper bag. We don’t have a diaper bag”

But he got it all done. God knows how he could think so fast during an emergency. I was still sitting there. Breathless.

“You better get ready. We got to go. You cannot do this.”

“I don’t know what to wear.”

My head wasn’t thinking at all. My dad. My pillar. My strength. The man who brought me up, accepted my character and gave me space to grow. The man who I can share with him my anger and frustration. My dreams and my hopes. And all he will do is to motivate and listen. 

He listens. 

“Anything. Just anything.”

We rushed to the hospital and Dad already completed his operation. He was blue. I touched him and I cried. I told him to be strong. 

But it was during the Chinese New Year that the ambulance response was late. It was during the Chinese New Year that they were understaffed. Didn’t help that they had trouble bringing my dad down from the master bedroom to the lift and from the lift to the ambulance. 

Today, I did my prayer. And as usual I do some quick simple doa. Same doa. For my family. 

Then Dad came to my mind. 

And I said, “Oh Allah, please tell my Dad that I miss him very much. Please tell him that i try not to think of him because I still have not gotten over his passing. Everytime I think of him, I will have tears lingering in my eyes. I can’t. I have to be strong for my family. My spouse and children esp needs me. I need to attend to the worldly matters as part of my responsibility. Pls tell Dad that I always miss him. It’s just that I have to get by the day.”

I recited Al-Fateha for my old man and I cried and cried and cried in the middle of the night while everyone was asleep. My husband and 4 children. 

I cried like 6 years ago. I forgot how painful it was until today. 

Dad, I know we will reunite later. Alfi always remind me, this world is temporal.

I love you Dad. 

Maths made easy - because I said so!

While I was at work, I was tagged on Facebook asking how I would deal with this maths question. It was said to be a Primary 4 maths question.
For me, maths and work don't mix. Its like I run 2 different tracks.

So here is the Primary 4 maths question.

Lisa had $5620 while Milly had $3850. After both of them spent the same amount on travelling, Lisa had four times as much money as Milly. How much did both of them spend on travelling?

The first thing that came to my mind was,"Hey.. this is easy isn't it"
I got down to doing it and I came up with an algebraic calculation. Then I turned to my husband,"Wait.. do P4 students learn about algebra?"
He would know better since he is currently helping a P5 kiddo now.

"Nope"

Dang! I was at my dead end.
I looked at the solution which was 'primary school friendly' and I could not make sense of the solution.

I almost hyperventilated. Is this Primary 4?!?
I mean that is the question most parents put across to one another right?
We are not able to accept the fact that the education system is getting tougher than during our time.

I stared at the question.
Then I asked myself, "How would I explain to Rania this question?"

Since I have only been mentoring secondary school levels, it is very hard to bring myself down to the Primary School level. I am not used to it. (I have to start getting used to it though with Rania starting P1 next year)

I started by drawing tables. We all learn mathes using the table right?
Again, I asked myself, "How would I explain to Rania this question?"

It took a while till I figured a solution which was very child (and parent friendly!)

Unlike the confusing solution I saw previously, I thought this was self explanatory for parents and they will be able to explain to their children. As for the kiddos, I believe they will have an easier time to understand these concepts and apply it correctly for similar questions.

Draw the table and look at it! Stare at it! You will see it!
Haha!

I do not scare my students with Maths. I let my students embrace them.
If given a choice to do Literature or Maths, I will choose Maths anytime. Reason is simple. Maths is a qualitative subject where 1+1=2. Period.
No examiners can penalise me for the answer 2.

It is not like Literature where I need analyse and explain ideas through my linguistic skills. I am not a linguist.
I am a very straightforward and structured person.
If the student is faced with this question, then know what topic they are questioning. Recall concepts. Structured application. And there you are done.

My materials for teaching is very simple.

1. Mathematics textbook
( I don't agree schools not using textbook and give notes handouts to teach. There is no shortcut in maths!)

2. Ten years Series/ Assessment book
(Topical - to recap the topic till perfection)

3. Calculator

4. Stationery
(And i insist my students never work on sums with a pencil. Because this means the level of confidence is not there since you feel you can erase away at any time. You cannot do your sums in pencil during exams can you?)

During my classes, whether group or individual classes, I run through concepts with the students. I let them see and understand the concepts.
Once they have, we start doing examples where these concepts are applied. At the same time, the concepts learnt are recapped.
Only then the students will start to understand and see the correlation.

I will not talk during the whole session (actually most of the time I talk.. which is why I always award myself with a bigger cup of drink. LOL!) but I will get students to do a related question after each example. THIS IS KEY!
Explain. Apply. Reinforce. Explain. Apply. Reinforce.

This is very important.

Which is why those who come for tuition, not prepared and do not get your homework done, please don't waste your parents money.
Of course I do get students who said "CCA is tiring." "Too many homework in school"
But i tell them everyone has 24 hours a day. Plan it right. Play with the phone lesser. Burn the midnight oil like many of us did.

As long as you don't keep applying the concepts and keep reinforcing the steps, there is no way you will brilliantly get it right during tests.
No two scenarios of a question are the same. But these two scenarios call out for the same concept of solution.

Its like:

Scenario 1: Patient having hives from eating seafood.
Diagnosis: Allergy
Medicine: Anti Histamine

Scenario 2: Patient having swollen lips and eyes from cleaning a dirty room.
Diagnosis: Allergy
Medicine: Anti Histamine

The scenarios are different. But as doctors, the concept is the same. Hives, swollen lips and eyes are signs of an allergy. With this concept, you apply the solution which is anti histamine.

Get the drift?

In fact, very often the big mistakes made by students are:
1. Skipping steps and try to do short cuts
(because they think they will complete the paper faster, which more often than not it is a "tidak-apa attitude")

2. Try to mentally solve the calculations
( also part of a "tidak-apa attitude")

3. Work the solution halfway and if it "doesn't look right" or "answer looks wrong", they stall and think they are stuck.
(When actually their calculations and methods are right)

4. Rushing through questions as if finishing it first will win them D-trophy. (tee hee!)

And maths is a good practice for you to be structured. When your working is structured, your flow of thought is structured and your errors are minimal. Even if you feel you were wrong along the way, it easy to understand your own working backwards.

During O level preparation, I let the students realize that there is probably only a handful (handful = 5) of formulas to remember.
I see so many kinds of faces.
The "are-you-serious-face". The "you-kidding-me-face". The "yeah-right-face".

But I have proven this right time and again.
As long as you understand the concept, there is no need to memorize the formula. Its all in the logic!
How did you think I managed to turn my own C grades to A's. :)

Primary school parents, don't be stressed. Refer to the textbook. Understand the concepts and try applying it. Always take reference.
Don't look at the question and immediately panic.

(Thumbs-up!)

Anyway, its been a few years since I handled Primary School mathematics and this is truly refreshing!

I am a working mummy

Maybe some have heard or known but maybe some have not.
I hang my boots as a stay-at-home mum and picked up my heels again to be a working mummy.

Yes I did! After 20 months being at home. That's how old Radiah is today.

So for many SAHMs who welcomed me back then, it is time to bade me goodbye as I leave the boat.
But I pray you will not label me as a traitor to my children. For leaving the children behind in the hands of caretakers while I earn my dollars and cents.
I pray you do not look at me buying gifts for my children as an act just to appease them.
I pray you do not look at me as a woman who prioritize money over the well-being of the children.

But to be honest, I do not actually care about the label put upon me. Because only I know my intentions and I will only do what is best for my family.
I am a mother and a wife before anything else.

I have been on both sides of the world. Being a working mom and being stay at home mom.
I love being a working mom and I love being a stay at home mom. I am a woman and naturally I am fickle like that.

But in honest truth, whether working or not, I would love to have my kids by me 24/7
Is that possible?

Well I thought so.

So after I delivered by third sweetheart, I waved goodbye to the organisation I was working with for 5 years, determined never to return. Then I picked up my passion I built 10 years ago. I was telling myself 'Ahhh.. now I truly have the time to build whatever I would love to.'

So I continued trading which many ladies are doing today. Buy low; sell high. The cutting edge will be on the number of following and your own marketing. I know it is not easy but I thought since I already had a head start over the decade, why not? Every road surely has its challenges but I figured I got it.

Not how I would imagine it to be though.
I thought with my own office I was able to launch products and work from the comfort of home. Easy isn't it. Mail outs every 2 to 3 days in a week. Reply to customers at the comfort of my bed or while bringing the kids out for play.

Again to cut long story short, I thought it was easy. I thought so.

I underestimated being a stay at home mom. Ok wait.. there is a difference being a stay at home mom with a maid and without a maid. I was a stay at home mom without a maid. Of course the level of satisfaction is different but there I have my children asking for me from the moment they open their eyes till the time they close their eyes. Sometimes at night with their eyes closed also they can still call out for me.

I probably:

• change 10 to 15 diapers a day.
• Go into the showers up to 12 times a day (2 of which are mine).
• Prepare food like every other time.
• Make 15 milk bottles everyday.
• Get the laundry is done everyday.
• Iron everyone's clothes
• Send Rania to school.
• Check on her school work
• I am a person who must make my bed everyday including mopping it. 

There were so many things which I wanted to do for myself and I couldn't do.
But yes, I slept a happy woman. I sleep every night with pride and knowing that I took care of my cubs. I was there at their every fall. I was the one making their milk every time they are thirsty. I know the kind of food that goes inside their mouth.
Being a stay at home mom means I get my 10-min power naps in the cab or when the kids are having their afternoon naps or just anywhere.

During the 20 months which I was at home, the family did alright. Of course financially we were not as lavish as before. It was a sacrifice. Still I felt there were times were still able to eat nice food and kids still get their toys. I am so glad that my children are not very picky. During crunch times, $2 toys from Daiso make them happy.

Until we explored into a business adventure and explored it beyond what we thought was capable. That was when things took a downhill.

I would not say I suffered a loss or my own business suffered a loss. Whatever that I went through, the whole family went through with me. I probably felt so wrecked ad exhausted beyond words. It took me many months to recover financially and be on my feet again. It was not just financially that impacted me. It impacted me psychologically, mentally and I was drained.

Still, I was very lucky.
I was lucky that my losses took me only a few months to regain me back on my feet. I was lucky that I had people who believed in my intentions. I was lucky that I had many loved ones who told me that I would come out from this experience with greater maturity. It was definitely a lesson to learn and remember.

Like I said, whatever impacted me, impacted my family as well.

So I sat down one day and thought through the whole idea of being a stay at home mom.
Was I able to do with less? Not eating out most times? Not going out as much as I would like to? Take the buses and trains more than the cabs? Not buying any bags? or shoes? Not even getting myself new clothes?

Yes yes yes yes yes....

I am a very simple lady. Simple-minded as well.
During this stride, I learn a lot about humility. It pains you when people think you are unable to afford some things in life. It pains you when people puts you at a level below them.
But I have learnt to take the bullet. Swallowed the bitter pill.

I told myself it was God's way to teach me humility. Well, the lesson was a long time.
Long is subjective. In my case we were not looking at months. We were looking at years where I had to bite the bullet.
But after a while I got used to it.
I smile at during those instances. Because I know life is a wheel. I was up. Then i came down.
Today may be your day. Someday, my day will come. I kept my faith.

My husband always say my level of tolerance is very high. But I always reminded him that it is not up to us punish people or put them in their places. We leave it all to the Divine One.

My heart was very heavy to return back to work. I discuss this with the husband and he being the awesome one, he said he has no right to make me return to work because the responsibility to feed the family was him. Not me.
But I shared with him that the economy is on a downturn and we would not know what the future would hold for us.

Of course I had my breaking points. I had moments where I questioned God and His Intentions (which is awfully wrong to do). I wondered how long more. And those were also the times where we got our greatest test from the business ventures we did.
There were many payments we did not receive. Commissions we were not paid. We were shortchanged for the work we did.
But that was business. It was not like a 9 to 6 job which quantifies for $x every month, no matter how little or how hard we worked. Business is a risk.

Still, those who did what they did, I only prayed to Him that He took care of my family. My children especially, for they did not understand anything which was going on. I made sure they were carefree as much as they can be.

Hence, despite all that, I thank Him for the health he gave my whole family. I thank Him for the solid rock marriage I was in. It was a gift.

I took my last straw.
I consulted a close family friend and asked if I should go back to the working world. It was a short and simple question, to which I was given a short and sweet reply. "Yes."

So I finally swallowed the fact I was going to bid goodbye to my SAHM title. I worried a lot about the children. I wondered if they could go through the days without me.

Within 2 weeks, I secured a role. Again in the IT industry, after 11 years, that became my second passion. Well, I didn't think I was going to be selected. There were probably 40 of interviewed (or more). 4 selected. I was one of them. It was mind-blowing.
I was crying in happiness. I hugged my eldest daughter and she said, "Come siblings. Give mummy a hug. She got a job."

Funny thing, when the husband asked about my remuneration, I laughed and I said,"I have no idea."

3 weeks into the role now, alhamdulillah things are settling down. The whole family is getting into a regime and the children are so adaptable. I totally underestimated them.
Radiah did not ask to be breastfed during office hours. Riduan is so well-behaved. Rania stepped up to take care of her other siblings. I am so blessed.
The moment I stepped into the car, greeting everyone, that is the time when I immediately hear squeals, shouts and cries all at the same time. I will always smile.

Nothing beats coming home to the family. In life we all make sacrifices.
It is important to remind yourself that the sacrifice we make need not be the same as the others. While other mummies sacrifice being a SAHM, there are mummies who sacrifice by heading to a 8-hour job. Sacrifice is never quantifiable.

Am I pleasing myself for the fact I head back to work? No.

As I always say, keep the intentions right and let Him pave the way for you.



I know who I am.
I am a mummy. A wife. A working professional.
This itself is fi sabilillah.

Instagram yay!

I was previously a Blackberry lover. I made the switch and threw my first love when it does not support the Instagram app. 

Today I am an iPhone fan, never going to look back and never going to make the switch - for now. 

But that aside, I am an Instagram freak. I have an Instagram husband and Instagram kids. It means a husband that never gets in the photo frame and the kids which always have to get into the photo frame. 

During my Apple apps update, I was so excited to learn that Instagram now supports multiple accounts on a single device. 

Isn't it amazing!!!

I mean I have been struggling managing two accounts @nuramima and @herclosetllp that I used my iPhone 5 as my other working phone for my online business. Now, there isn't a need to. There is no need to take pictures on my iPhone 6, send over to the iPhone 5 and then upload it in Instagram. 

 

As it says "you can now switch between multiple accounts quickly and easily" 

I agree!!

So here is what you need to do:

1. Login to one of your accounts

2. Press the 'Settings' button on your profile page atthe top right hand corner. Then you can see the link below. 

3. See the 'Add Account'? Hit that on your screen 

4. Key in your other account username and password and it will lead you to another account. 

Notice that at the bottom right hand corner shows your profile picture too! So you know which account you are at. 

5. To switch accounts, just hit on your profile name and you will see options of your other account. Or add other accounts if you like (how many lives do you actually have?)

Say hello to simplicity. Again, we have technology which makes our day a little easier and much happier. 

Have a good Friday everyone!

Xxx

Vagisil - Everyone's bestfriend

This should be everyone's best friend.
Well, it has been mine for the longest time! 10 years maybe! And I really want to share this with my readers.

For many years I have with sharing it with my lady friends and mummies but they seem to give me that 'ARE-YOU-SURE' look. I really cannot help but to give them the 'CAN'T-YOU-TELL-IM-SERIOUS' look in return.
Well, it all started when many ask me what was my secret to having flawless skin.

*cough*cough*

I do not have flawless skin. (Happy now?)I have a slightly an uneven skin tone and dark eye rings which I have to thank my genetics for that. Yes, dark eye rings can be genetic and I had mine confirmed by a doctor.
But I have to admit that I do have almost zit-free skin. I used to have a T-zone issue - long time back.

Of course Vagisil is popularly known as a cleaning liquid to wash and clean our lady bits. I always wonder why they have these products because we were taught since young to wash with soap during showers and during visits to the toilet. Nonetheless, I share with the ladies that I use it as a facial wash.

YUP. FACIAL WASH.

Ok, are you going to give me that face again behind the screen?

But truly, this is the one and only facial wash you will ever going to need. I am not a fan of skin solutions because I think they are overly expensive and I really do not have the capacity, be it time or energy to cleanse my face, use tons of cotton wools and toners which are overly drying to the skin. What more moisturisers. Gosh! I hate going to sleep with a sticky face.

So everytime I wash my face in the shower or when I need to take my abolution, I always do it with a 20-cent coin size of Vagisil. Wash it over my face and it cleans make up! Of course for waterproof ones, you need probably about $1 coin size of Vagisil. As for me, I only use foundation, eyebrow colour, eyeliner, blusher, sometimes a little mascara, rarely lipsticks which will be gone after a meal and too lazy to reapply again. So the make up washes off in a jiffy!

Why Vagisil as a facial wash?

1. It works on all skin types.
Vagisil is pH balanced so it is really useful for acne prone skin. As for me, I no longer have T-zone skin. In fact, it will not even leave your skin dry because of balanced pH. So really, this is truly a cheaper option to the many facial wash that you have been trying.

In fact, there are some of Vagisil formulation that contains probiotics and can help to clear up blemishes.

2. It is nicely scented.
I swear upon this. It is awesomely fresh yet sweet smell which is a bonus on top of the clean feel you have on your skin. Of course you can opt for the unscented version.

3. It is hypoallergenic.
I am allergic to 1001 things and when I knew that this formulation was hypoallergic, I was so delighted to use it without much thought.
It is really meant for delicate skin isn't it? Well, why not for the face.

4. It is way cheaper than your bottles of your skin care.
That I need not explain any further.

I am sure the gentlemen will have some reservations using them. Well, if you have a wife, just squeeze out some for yourself. She would not know the different. There is a large amount of love to be shared. Typically a bottle can last myself(only) for 2 months or so.

If you have yet to be married, well, just transfer it to another clear bottle. No one will notice.

Well, there was a day when I was home with the 3 kids alone and preparing lunch. I was happily cutting away the chilli and a couple strands of hair was tickling my nose. Without thinking, or more like a reflex action, I pulled those strands of hair away. Within moments, I felt the piercing heat from the chilli on my nose and cheeks.

I was panicking and had no idea what to do next. The pain was getting intense. I went to the toilet to wash it off and contemplated to apply some toothpaste on it to cool it down. But when I entered the toilet, I saw my facial wash aka Vagisil and I washed my whole face with it.

Trust me, the pain and heat subsided and I felt very clever. Vagisil is pH balanced, hence it neutralises the acidity of the chilli on my skin! Tadaa!

Someone I knew has eczema and when I shared with her about the pH balance of this, she used it as her shower gel. Apparently, she shared that it didn't dry her skin and she felt like the wash didn't rip her off her body moisture!

So ladies, if you are still wondering which facial wash can serve you best, I hope you will give Vagisil a shot. I'm pretty sure it can be love after first wash!