Ponder

Even during my younger days, I pondered a lot.
I pondered about everything. I pondered about living life as an adult, working.
Then I pondered about being a wife and a mother to a few children.

I even pondered what those streetwalkers were thinking as they crossed roads.
I pondered how people get by their day.

I pondered how people could be arrogant when they have nothing much actually. I pondered about every single thing.
In fact, that was how I managed to sometimes find my answers in life.

I learn and observe a lot from people's character. Call me judgemental but I believe that life lessons are great teachers. It comes to a point that my first impressions on others are pretty good and I share this analysis with my husband as he meets a lot of people.

Initially he brushed me off but many times I was proven right so at least now he contemplates my opinion.

We both have met many people, true to their character.

Some uses religion, quotes from Sheikhs and Ustaz on Facebook when their character in real life is far from those principles. Some boasts humility which I usually get confused.
Some just wants to show what they have got just because they like to show and want people to know.

I was not perfect either in my younger days. But I think along the way I am learning and will still learn. I still make mistakes. Sometimes say the wrong things.
Good intentions turn bad.
My husband will be the one pointing out to me and I swallow it and be better.
Insya Allah.

I have come to a point when I really do not bother how people judge me.
If they feel I am not dressing up well enough or not carrying that expensive bag or not going for this holiday and that holiday anymore.
My priorities have changed and what matters to me is that my family and I are happy.

Like what many said, happiness is something which cannot be bought.
In fact I am always in search of peace and calmness in my life.

My husband shared with me this video which we watched together.



I felt tears in my eyes and I take back with me some of the things he said.
"Let them say."
"I made it a point to live my life with simplicity.. and focus on humanity."

This man probably found peace in himself and the things he did.
When my husband and I watched this, we feel lesser of a person because our hearts are not this big to sacrifice and do the same.

He definitely taught us something from this video.
So finally I pondered what does it take me to live and let life be.