Small Talk: We all been down that road once or twice

I received an email about a month ago, during Ramadhan.
Maybe more than a month.
From a lady whom I personally knew and though we leverage on social media to interact to each other more than to meet, we have a quiet relationship with telepathy.

It was nice to hear from her again but it was sad to hear her at this note:

Hi mima,

I've been keeping quiet now. Im sure you have notice. Im getting lonely.

I always try to sound i have good relationship with my family. Actually im not. The truth is my mum and siblings dont like me. Yeah even my sisters. They are nice to me because of my higher paid salary that can give them anything they want. My mum is forever hating and jealous of me. I just discover my brother dislike me just because i don't grow up with him since young. My dad he has millions things he kept secret. Up till today, my father never ask me when im going to get married. He always brush tht aside everytime i try to bring it up.

Last time i did email you about my male colleague that i dreamt. i still dream of him and think about him. i dont know what he wants. i tried dating and flirting with other guy. i always feel so bothered with this guy.

sometime i do blame God for everythg. i pray to him but i keep losing each time. this year ramadhan is very challenging for me. and i end up getting more lonely. i've always wanted a family of my own and i dont know if i am able to live long enough to have them...

i've become a person that i myself dont recognise...

Like I said, there are many emails which I took a while to reply.
Some I have yet to reply though.

Here was my 2 cents and I hoped it did give her a bit more motivation to move another step forward.

Hi dear,

Of course I do notice but I am always at the position where I am not sure if it is right to approach you and ask if you are ok.
And I did notice the change of tone from your twitter that you seem happier with your family. I didn't want to question as well if that was legit.

There are always family secrets which everyone keeps. Even I do.
And that is how it will always be. Everyone tries to prove that their family look like a role model.
With my own family, I do not because I know there are things which we will never like and things which we will never get used to.

Between my sister and I, there are things which we do not agree and will never agree and will never see eye to eye.
But we practice respect that she deserves to do what she would like to do and it is the same for me.

My husband and I is like that too.
I am the messy queen and he the meticulous king and we never got along with bedroom discipline. He hates my time management and my financial planning.
But he respects me as a wife and a mother who is able to multitask. He respects that I can be independent and make decisions on my own.
Trust me, when my husband's nagging is the last thing I would want to hear.

On top of that, there is an element called love.

So do not fret if you feel that the people around you do not love you. It's easy for people to say that maybe it is just you who feel that way.
But step and think outside the box.

Learn how to be independent and say no.
Trust me, in life, saying no is the hardest thing to do. But after a while, it gets easier.

Make yourself happy first. Then it will radiate along with the people around you.
Leave the past behind. Start anew.
And trust me, I am very good at doing just that.

Insya Allah you will find the man you would want to live your life with, share a bed with, wake up seeing his face and sharing your life with.
Do some solat hajat, minta tenang hati and diberi taufik and hidayah and follow the flow without expectations.

Your happy phase will come. Everyone has one.
Believe it in.

Doa and redha. That is key.

*hugs*

There are always times where we feel lonely. Even me, when I am surrounded by the ones I love most of the time.
Especially when one of my strong pillars passed away. It is never easy when we are in situations as such.

It is easier though to say to keep head high.

If you have something to share with our dear sister, do drop a comment or email me at nuramima@hotmail.com for Small Talk.

Small Talk is my own community building initiative for ladies to share their ideas and personal rants, getting the support from our affluent readers of VC who can help say a word or two to keep each of us going. You and I definitely could use a nice support group.

With love,