Gee.. Finally the weekends are here again.
But it would now be different from other weekends for a while.
At least I can't be waking up THAT LATE for the time being.

Good ol' Granny is in the hospital again.
This time she fractured her leg.
(its between her hip and her thigh, so how do you say that?)
It got all of us worried especially now that she is turning 80 in 5 wks.

It would be hard for her to walk like before.
Her operation is scheduled to be this coming Tuesday where they are going to insert metal rods and screws inside her.
The idea sends shivers down my spine.

Docs are still assessing her heart rates and prev stroke condition due to the risks she might have.

Grandma is senile, surprisingly, only remembering me & mom's name.
She had always remembered mom but how she remembered mine was trully indescribable.

It was back in year 2004 where she was admitted to the hospital
There were not many visitors at that point of time due to SARS
So it was just me playing with my grandma, lying on her, talking to her.
Then I looked deep into her eyes and told her it was me.

She stared with so much sanity and concentration and she said,
"Intan cucu aku?"
I was so happy that I teared.
I teared cos I couldn't share my happiness with anyone.
I was just alone.
Me & her.

5 seconds later, till today, she could never match my face with my name again.
But she will stand by the door every Saturday, looking out for a car
Calling out me and mom's name.

She is the only grandparent I have left.
Nyai


I was never close to my grandfathers(since the paternal grandad didnt even get to see his grandchildren)
I was close to my paternal grandma but the time spent with her was much shorter compared to Nyai. She left when I was 11.
Yes, I do hold tonnes of wonderful memories of her & I really miss her till today.

But Nyai had a lot of impact in my life.

She was the one who scolded me whenever she cooked and I wouldn't eat
(cos she masak so pedas & at that time I kenot tahan! and for the simple fact that I ate too little AT THAT TIME)

She was the one who became my place of solace whenever mommy scolded me

She was the one giving me extra pocket money to school
on top of that,
She was the one who would come by to my school during recess time, 3 times a wk(until sec sch days!!), buy me food and wait for my recess time. I would be coming down the flights of staircases, hoping to see Nyai waiting for me at one of the canteen benches.

I grew up having her bringing me & my brother to the mosque frequently esp for terawihs
I was easy to take care of as I wasn't a kid who would be running around.
But I was 5.
She was walking way faster than I was and she had to drag me that I would have to semi-jog, catching up her pace.
By the time they were praying terawih, I was sleeping in my prayers.
And she would tell me that she wouldn't bring me anymore.

I would be so pressured to be awake!!
But me and Bro were always given air bandung, Nyai's favourite which I will NEVER get to drink under Mom's sight.


She was the one who would scold maids who scolded me
Who even made maids shower me when I was 9.

I remember a time when she sent me to school taking the public bus.
I was 10
It was quite a walk from the bus-stop to school. She offered to carry my school-bag
I was stunned.
It was never a culture that my parents carried my school bag.
Till today, I couldn't be happier rejecting her carrying my bag.

But of course, if she had scolded the maid to carry my bag and books for me, I would gladly & immediately relented.

Having my grandma around was blissful.
She loves bringing me and Bro out. Sometimes just me cos lil' sis never want to be futher than 1 metre radius from mom.
That would mean no books, soft drinks, crackers, sweets and nothing I want would be answered with a 'No'


Sometimes I wish that things are different.
That my grandma would remember more.

Probably I'm writing this fearing her time may come even before I can understand it coming.
Its fear I keep trying to shake it off everytime she is in hospital.


I had made 2 requests to my parents few years back

First, I wanted a full family holiday before anyone gets married.
This was fulfilled last Raya when we indulged in a 17-day Europe trip

Apparently, I am trying to ask for another one
Trying ok. Just trying.

Secondly, I told my parents that I would want them to be happily married till the end of time.
I wanted my children to be able to experience love from BOTH grandparents from the same side at the same time
Something which I didn't get.
(It's just my share that I receive this much)


Not mentioning that the grandparents' place would be a convenient "dumping ground"

Hahahhaa....


For the past few days, news flashed about the top PSLE scorer (Primary 6 graduating exams)
After the exams, ie during Hari Raya, I heard complaints and worry from parents and students that the Maths paper was exceptionally difficult this year.
Tougher than the usual years.
Singapore's like that. Either the Maths or Science papers would be tough.
Now, the Malay paper is getting tougher too(which is not helping cos the Singaporeans' Malay Language is so hancur)


I expected the media to simply flash news on the top scorer etc etc etc
My yearly anxiety is to know if the nation's top scorer is a Malay.
Not that I am being biased but I am very proud if a Malay can start proving their intelligence and affluence


Yes I am super proud this year.
Apparently, I managed to hold back the tears but mom teared & teared when we read the news.
Yes! It is a Malay girl holding the nation's top score out of the cohort of 49,817
(My hair's standing as I type this)
Not only that, she broke the record of the top scorers after 14 years

Tell me, how can you not be proud of that?

First, she scored an agregate of 294(6 points to perfect score),
Broke the 14 year record, which was 292 in 1993
The difference between her score and the next best score was 6 points
Went through a lot of emotional worry with her grandpa in the hospital and underwent an operation on her first day of the paper.

My deepest heartfelt congrats to the young lady!
Well done would be a total understatement.

Natasha Nabila Muhammad,
You are indeed #1!