Small Talk: I wish...

I thought it would be good to end the week with a Small Talk Session.
Yes, my apologies for not having stories up for a month!

Do keep the sharing community going. Insya Allah I will try my best to put up the stories.
There are also some who emailed me but prefer confidentiality and I respect that.


Salam sis,

I just read ure blog.. How time flies right.. I followed your entries even before you had Rania.. You shared how u went through pregnancy.. And there was ure delivery.. And now ure baby gerl is 8 months?? Wow..

How i wish i can be a mother myself.. Have been married for nearly 2 years.. Still have no children. I kept asking myself what went wrong.. I feel like giving up..

Most of the time, people ard will advise me not to think too much about it.. But i cannot hide this feeling.. This sadness.. Its wrong to question HIM... But i really can't help it sis.. I'm angry at HIM and myself for being this way. The most challenging part is to hear people ard me getting pregnant and going through delivery.. Every month there will be news about that... I know I ought to be happy for them. But i can't...

There was once i suddenly cried out loud in the car while my husband is driving. I thought i was.. But my mensus came. I couldnt hide my frustration and just broke down. My husband was shocked that he had to stopped the car at the expressway.

I think i almost went into depression thinking about this. Although my husband put on a strong front, but i can see sadness in his eyes too everytime we talked about this.

Dear Allah, I hope this wish of mine will come true soon..
Thanks for hearing me out sis..

Take care... Selamat Hari Raya...


Salam Nana,

Sorry this took ages for me to reply. If you have read my blog, I was not in a very good state back then.

Alhamdulillah things are slowly picking up and I was just thinking yesterday that maybe I will never have things as perfect as I felt the last time.

But then again, nothing is perfect.

I spoke to a very good man yesterday and I shared with him how I always feel uneasy. He advised me to selawat as much as I can.

I felt the difference. It was really about letting go.

Like how I shared his words of wisdom on my fanpage, Allah is the best Planner. Let Him pilot your journey.

I keep that at heart now.

I am lucky to be conceiving 3 months after I got married. I think even at that time, I didn't know if I was prepared or not. Plus I had quite a challenging pregnancy.

But many advised me that I will be a natural when the baby is born.

If you read through my diary of my first pregnancy, there was much skeptism on motherhood. Then when Rania was 2 months, I conceived without knowing and miscarried 2 months later.

One of my friends was married for almost 2 years, wanted to have a baby and when she did, she needed to go for a forced abortion at 8 weeks.

I thought that was very painful. But I guess things happen to us for a reason and He knows best. They said He will not test us where we can't. I am sure in times like this, it has made your marriage stronger because you only have each other.

Trust me, having a baby now will be an icing on the cake for both of you, especially when you have gone through so much. Please share with me the good news when the time comes.

*big hugs*

its better late than never but Selamat Hari Raya to you too :)

xoxo