I finally got a little bit of time to blog this out.
Oh my.. how I miss blogging. Probably writing is something I really love but can't make a career out of it.

Hapasik (Half past six in Singrish) dream.
Singrish.. please make my note look more better is an open application now. Thanks to Faridah!
*lol*
Find it on Facebook and add the apps in!

Anyway, the past few days have been a roller coaster ride.
I stayed in the hospital for 2 nights in a row but thanks to Bro and Sis who accompanied me on both nights, knowing I am so penakut nak mampos.

The peak of emotions was when I came home from work on Friday night, tried to catch a nap to do the night shift in hospital but was awaken by 8.30pm and mom was freaking out.
20 mins and I'm out of the house. I did not even manage to wash my make up off from that morning since I went to the office.

That night Nyai's blood pressure hit a low of 97/49 where the doctors told bro to have the family members gather and do whatever we needed to do in order to ease Nyai's departure.

I, just woke up from sleep, had my heart racing so terribly that I was afraid I might collapse especially knowing that I cannot be in a state of anxiety and worse, asthma.

I stayed in vigil that night reciting Al-Fateha for her in my heart since I could not do more. Tears streamed down my face thinking how much suferring she had to go through.

Nyai has progressive dimensia since the age of 65.
Soon, everything started to fail.

Her swallowing was not as effective that everytime we tried to make her swallow she would choke. Now dietician advised her to be fed via the feeding tube.
That of which, after she was discharged, we have to 'sound' the caretakers to have the tube change when it hit 3 months.

She fell when misjudging the sofa seat and broke her leg at the hip. The caretakers did not put her to rehab. Instead, made her sit on the wheelchair as little as possible to help the maid do other household chores in the house.
Other times, Nyayi was made to lie on the bed.

I ever saw the maid did her ironing.
Iron clothes, towels, rags and even underwear
Do you have your underwear ironed?
For God's sake, hell I don't!

Today, the caretakers made her bedridden soon after my cousin's wedding in June 2008.
The last time she was seen to be sitting down was during the wedding itself.
She was made to sit on the wheelchair and put on her mitten with her tube-feed showing obviously.

Question:
Was it even necessary to bring her to the wedding occasion for she could not understand a thing?

Showing off that you are taking care of your mother when the last 3 admissions to the hospital was disapproved by you?

Question:
Why the mitten if the maid is there taking care of Nyai. Unless the maid was going around socialising and leaving Nyai alone.

Whenever we visited Nyayi, we were being complained that we always tell the maid what to do.
Ask the maid questions about her food intake.
Check Nyayi's hygeine and condition.

Why can't we?
Why were we being complained to all the relatives?


Today, Nyayi is admitted to the hospital for the upteenth time for dehydration and malnutrition.
How can a tube fed elderly be facing both unless meals are not provided regularly.

Doc forced in a packet of water through drip (500ml) within 30 mins and subsequently on additional 4 packets of water a day, excluding those she get from her meals.
Dehydration led to infection.

Infection No 1.

To our utmost horror, she was admitted with stage 4 bed sore.
Stage 4!!!

Infection No 2.

We brought Nyayi to the hospital in the nick of time, else she could have died from both infections.
Especially the infection from the bed sore would have spread to the kidney and then rectum, followed by death.

I can really go on and on with fantastic-but-not-very-nice language but to cut the story short, everytime we brought Nyai in to the hospital, we were deemed as rude.
We were deem not to respect the house owner
ANYBODY IN THEIR SANE MIND WOULD NOT EVEN BRING THIS UP IF THEY WERE CONCERNED OF THEIR MOTHER.

Lil' Sis was said to be rude after the caretakers exagerated big time when she argued with Nyayi's daughter-in-law that Nyayi should go to the hospital.
Truth was, when dad called for the ambulance the last time, she cancelled the call and pointed fingers with my dad not to call the ambulance.
That is Ustaz Ali's (Majlis Ugama Islam Singapura top council) sister for you.

I was said to be rude because the caretaker kept screaming at me and my sister that we had no brains like our mother.
Without raising my voice, all i said was,"For the record, I have more brains than you."
I was technically and factually right.
While he is only O-level qualified with U-never-study, I was put through University.
A short statement like that made him so mad that he replied,"Off the record, I am smarter than you."

Off record?!?!?
How can I not laugh at his english! Plus don't you think that that statement was childish enough coming from a 52-year-old adult.

He said my brother was rude that my brother called his friend who was working in civil defence and got the ambulance to admit nyayi in hospital.
Dia ingatkan ni Indonesia ker that coincidences like this can be planned.
Oh my god!!
Still he chooses to deny that I have more brains than him.

Anyway, he told some of the relatives many times that he wanted to hit the three of us.
I laughed the latest time I heard it - yesterday.
Obviously Mom and especially Dad got mad about it.. but worry not, I heard it for many years now.
Naik muak tau.. cakap nak sepak la etc etc... kadang batang hidung pun tak nak tunjuk.
So much talk about kejantanan but sons like you should be shot dead - in my opinion.

Among my mother's 3 children, she always called me the samseng
Ha! I didn't get that name for nothing.

Nyayi is in hospital for 4 days now. While she is responding well to her 10-day antibiotics, we have to make sure that she does not lie on her back and is strictly turn every 2 hours.
While the antibiotics given to her is the strongest available, she would take many months or even a year to recover from her bed sore.

Yes, that lesion measures a diameter of 7cm and 8cm with 3cm depth (official records)

That Friday was a false alarm per the Doctor but she is still under close monitoring due to her age.
Still the caretaker refused to come to visit despite those 'last moments'

In fact, whatever written in here is a mere summary of what happen the past 4 days.
I can gather all factual information for the past 12 years and seriously publish it into a book.
While today we read how adults today were being abuse by their parents when they were younger, this shall be a twist.

He should stop living off Nyayi's pension money.
How hard is it to admit Nyayi in the hospital for $3 a day in B1 ward(4 bedder).
Flat fee.
Medicines, treatments, ops all free of charge because Nyayi was a midwife before with the SG Government.
The caretaker being an SIA Superviser storekeeper and his wife not working, I wonder how he maintains a 2 storey house, 1 maid, 1 MPV & 1 1.6L Mitsubishi weekend car in Singapore.
Today I am paid almost fairly based on my qualifications and expertise, yet I am counting my dollars and cents today whether or not I should be having a car.

I don't talk much. I just don't.
I listen intently, which is why I can capture his horijjible engrish.
But don't get me to talk. I watch what I say.
I do not speak without evidences.
You may not like it.



Keep elder abuse at bay and allow them to enjoy their golden years.
TRANS Centre
Website: www.transcentre.com.sg