Life moves very fast.
It rushes us from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds.

(Eleven Minutes)


I was one staff down for the past two days.
Suddenly, I was doing things which she is doing and what I was doing.

She is really an asset to me because it is hard to find all in one. Though I am not entitled for a secretary, she keeps tabs of my meetings and deadlines. Plus she has a set of work which me and another lead will let her run.

Poor girl.
I do occasionally treat her for lunch or coffee and have a chat, only that I will be the only one chatting.
Biasalah tu...
And even so, it would not be enough for me to say 'Thank you'


Recently, I was given more things on the workload plate. Not that I am complaining despite meetings end late till the evening.
My office hours now starts stretching till 8 plus again.
Of course I love every bit of it, not mentioning the fact that I am exhausted.
(Yes my dear Farah, I keep a water bottle in hand, drinking loads of fluid only finding a hard time going to the toilet)


I love it when my day runs non-stop especially now that IBM is supporting DBS Vickers Securities. Another extension of DBS Bank which is located at Price Waterhouse Cooper.


There was never a period where I was not interrupted. But being able to stretch my capabilities is exactly what I love so much about this job.
Recently, when I leave the office, I look back at my workplace yang by that time dah tak berserak lagi and feel satisfied.


Definitely you can't finish the work within the day but you know that whatever that is done, was done well.
Since my grandmama has stablised herself(and god forbid anything would happen to her again), it is only recently that I got myself back the right pace at work.


It's all about me being self-satisfied.
I am not a perfect worker nor a perfect example.
But I made my flaws known at work and that I am not putting up a front.


Politics.
Office politics.
As I went up, there were people literally pulling me down, which the voices of a consensus was successful to see things happen.
Of course they went by the book to justify the actions.
Being human in such situations, you get pissed. Like blardy dead pissed.
And probably that was the period where I swore a lot more than I usually do.

%&*$%$^

But it became a blessing because it gave me the good chance to learn and stand from where they made me fall.

%^^&^($#$#

Play their game.
Give them a freaking good whack at the back.
Of course with good grounds so it won't backfire.
Now Boss thinks that I am very garang cos he knows I would challenge anyone now who would just want to point the finger at me.
Being a loyal worker does not necessary mean you have to be a dumb ass.
It probably got to the peak of my temper at one point of time that I questioned a team upright of their ethics and integrity.
That was the hardest I kicked their butt cos obviously they just wanted to find a case against me.
So I said,"Whoever did that is really an idiot but I know that the idiot is not me"

I don't use the word 'idiot' very often you know.
Boleh nak sumpah anak orang a retard.
But truly some people just don't think.

I did got me disturbed at one point of time that I ngadu to my mentor in IBM.
He said,"This is part of your learning journey Mima. It's tougher as you get higher. So learn fast and get on with it. Just be objective and continue your pace."

Whoa!

He continued,"Make sure you don't step on anyone's feet."
Yes, cos we wouldn't know if that would be the ass we'd lick someday.


Quietly, I have signed up for a few courses. One of which will start next week!!
*gleams*
You know how excited I am to fork out my own hard-earned, blood & sweat money for these things to let myself be more (paper)qualified than some people.


Anyway, despite all the excitement about work, I lost friends.
Really good friends who used to be lunch buddies due to so much irregularity in my schedule.
I am saddened by it but everything needs to come with a price.

I believe I am a tougher woman today than yesterday.
It is not about the peserverance I have or the patience I show.
It is about sincerely accepting what is unfavourable and swallow it down your throat without anyone even imagining how painful it is because they saw you smile.

I know how to express happiness, excitement and anger without using '^&%^(&$'
But I am not sure of how to share my pain with even the simplest 'Ouch'.
I just don't.


Strength is born in the deep silence of long-suffering hearts; not amid joy

Arthur Helps