I am human.

There are times when I could not take the trials and tribulations of today, then I will just cry.
I try to cry my heart out so that I can quickly get over it.

But I can't.
Only because I am not used to crying.

I grew up hating to cry.
I hated it more when I started wearing make up
No matter how hard I got whacked by my parents, I still take a long time to start shedding tears.


Because I kept telling myself that I could pull through.
Nothing would ever be too hard.


I took things with my head held high.
I was tough in many ways.
But there are times when I just burst out so suddenly.
I do.
It's just that many or probably even none would know.
Which is true.


I may not be the perfect Muslim but I will remember to have God as my only solace.
I have to admit, many times I questioned Him,"Why?"
Many times I do get angry.
That I wished that there was an immediate answer.


"We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be"

- C.S Lewis


Nevertheless, I never stopped praying and seeking His help that He will pull me out from the situation I am in today.
I got too tired.
Exasperated and drained.

I have been spending my days alone, though many do not think so.
It's what I call my 'me-time'
I make sure I frequently have it.
Daily.
At work, at home or even when I am travelling to any destination.
That is the time when I ponder and reflect.
Think and analyse.

I do hope that someday I would see to my happiness.
I never gave up hope.
Cos I have never stopped praying and working hard for it.


"Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity."

- Carl Gustav Jung


THAT would just be the perfect key
Patience...
Equanimity...

For I am only human.