Bittersweet Ramadhan

Its almost two weeks now that Ramadhan has passed. It seem quick to many but to me I didnt quite have the Ramadhan feeling at all... I had my mensus on the 7th day until now where Warna and Ria are playing Hari Raya songs on air...

I didnt welcome the arrival of Ramadhan. I had to break away from my habits for a while and whenever I head back to the staircase at the back, I would remember the memories of Deen bringing for me and Sue food, sitting on the floor and we'll eat..
But most times, it would be Zul bringing the food for the break fast and it happens when I am working on a night shift..And I would be looking forward to the food that he bought and he made sure my light coke was there..

*sigh* those were the days...

I hate thinking about it.. cos I miss those moments so much. So so much... the joy of breaking fast with the people you love even though the place was less than perfect.

This year, this are very very different. I am able to go back at 6pm and rush home to break fast with my family. Except the first week, when I could eat with Shah cos I only ended work at 7pm.

But there was one thing exceptionally sweet this year. I spent very little time with Shah for the past couple of weeks. Different shift. Different areas. Different politics to handle. But that's fine..

One fine day he msged me,"I did something for you today"
I immediately called him.. I was hoping he didnt get anything expensive (though I am waiting for the luxuries from him *chuckles*). He did something that was beyond my thoughts.

Friday was his third time 'wakafkan' the bricks that will be used to build the mosque.. He prayed for me.. A special prayer. Aside from his daily prayers that he has for me. He didnt only pray for the two of us.. He prayed solely for me.. twice he prayed solely for me..

I may not be able to do so much for him.. And I never had been... I am just so touched to how far he would go for me. I am really really touched. He never fails to donate to the mosque under my name every Friday and accompanies it with prayers..
Probably I am not even feeling as much as he feels for me.. I feel bad.. I do... But feelings are something I cant force.. But with Allah's will, He will repay Shah in the most gracious way ever..

That i pray for you my dear...

I was estatic when Shah was ok with me seeing Zul on his birthday... But I have not heard from zul for quite a while now.. I'm not sure if he is still game for it or he has plans...I have a little something planned.. nothing fantastic... but it should be ok..
*grin*