Rania's 7th Month

Every time Rania reaches the month mark, it is really bittersweet for me.
I was looking forward to Rania's one month mark because that was the end of my confinement and it was Chinese New Year and I was definitely going out with my newly branded family of three.

The morning my confinement ended, Dad had a heart attack and 17 days later he passed away.

6 months later, it is still the same for me.
I reminisce the time when I was awaken in the wee hours of the morning by the husband.
It was a Saturday and the husband was doing the night feed while I slept.

Today, Rania turned 7 months.
Despite I struggled parenthood and my own depression with my loss, I never forget to say my thanks to Him for giving me the rezeki of a wonderful daughter. The one who brought light to our lives, including my mom and siblings while trying to cope with the loss of my beloved dad.

I battled with depression and stress for many months and it is only recently that I can safely say that I am back on my feet again.
During that period, I had this guilty conscious that I did not give my best to Rania.

My best back then was not my best.

I refused help of many because I wanted to prove myself that I can do it.
I wanted to do something for myself and not let myself be in the slumps.
But in situations as such, help is inevitable and Alhamdulillah, Rania is well-loved by many.
Something which I least expected nor hoped for.
Today, there are many passers-by who stopped by and give sincere comments of how adorable she is, what's her age and gender (yeah I know)
Many more who would hold her hand to say "Hello" or give her a smile.

I became more sociable because of my daughter.
I had to respond to these because she can't.

Bottom line, she is really the light of my life. Without her, I would not know how I would cope.
I thank God for the blessings He gave me. For a wonderful husband who lifted me up at my lowest.

Soon, she will reach her one year mark.
All in a blink of an eye, just like how the past 7 months have passed.



She is growing up wonderfully and I am one heck of a proud mother.
Just like all mothers out there.

Number 2 is already in our plans but I cannot bear to have another yet, feeling I need to make up for loss time with my little girl.
I miss being pregnant already.

But Insya Allah, that can wait.

So sweetheart, here is to you at your 7th month mark.
I pray you will always be blessed by Allah SWT and that you will enjoy your phase of growing up.

I love you Rania.

xoxo