It had been a fruitful weekend, Alhamdulillah.
It is probably one of the most well-spent weekend I had and I get to spend it with the fiance.
4 months plus to the wedding and we attended the marriage preparation course.
I was very excited to attend the 16-hour session.
Yes, I took the most elaborate one MUIS offered.
Sure, me and my fiance knew our objectives of being married but a lifelong contract was not something short-term and hence my explaination for not taking the shortcut for the course.
I know that there is a full day class and I am not judging anyone who took that up.
Me & the fiance manage to squeeze in a little bit more time for the session.
I also understand that those couples under the age of 21 have to go through a 54-hour session of the prep course.
I thought it is fabulous.
What is 9 or 16 or 54 hours compared to the 40 or 50 year contract that you signed up for.
I learnt a lot.
So did the fiance.
It is great as you get to sit with your fiance during the second half of the session.
There were exercises and activities and it is easier to communicate and be in sync.
MCYS did cover a large extent of the topic and I wish that they revert back to the 5 weekends which they had initially.
Day 1:
Me and my fiance uncovered each other's character much better.
Sure we have the same dreams and hopes but we probably did not speak openly of our fears, unconsciously.
We learn how to deal with situations and conflicts.
Communicate.
All which looks so simple but because we were allowed to engaged with each other, it allows the freedom to express ourselves better with techniques which are sociologically proven.
Me & my fiance had a whirlwind relationship so just like the whirlwind itself, sometimes things falls on us too fast to comprehend and fathom. Before we knew it, time out.
My fiance understood my character better and vice versa.
I came out happy.
Day 2:
Sex. Intimacy. Finances. In-laws.
Wonderful topic about sex.
The speaker mentioned that I think like a man. I think the fiance was hiding his face in his shirt because he bbm-ed me,
"Did you say, 'Wham Bam Thank you Ma'am?'"
*lol*
I did not know that sex is important in a marriage.
In fact, VERY important.
I did get a little upset how the previous generations put forward the perception of sex.
Then I understood intimacy - theoretically.
I was concerned about menopause and brought it up in the session. I did not want the women to feel useless as they grow older and wrinkled and can't help to think that their men will find a younger woman.
My question was:
"We are in for the marriage for the long run. How do women deal with menopause when men no pause."
So I did get the answers for us ladies today.
It is true that our libido lowered drastically when we have reached our menopause.
His answer:
(Yes, it is a Malay Pakcik who speaks very good English)
"It has to start from the day you are married. Sex is very important. Couple it with intimacy from Day 1. Women are more emotional so they can increase their sexual desires by being more intimate with their spouse, raising her sexual desire. Keep trying something new. Have a healthy sexual lifestyle and communicate."
So there we are ladies.
He touched on finances and in-laws.
It is no longer going to be my money is my money. It is our money is our money.
Insya Allah our income will provide us a comfortable living.
Yes, you can trash the idea from the society that men has to be the sole breadwinner.
Older generation has too much ego.
Keep swallowing and do not keep that mentality a vicious cycle.
It is a good thing that men today are taught to lower their ego.
It benefits the women in many ways.
Bottom line, our family unit comes first so do what you think is best for your family unit.
And no, I am not planning to be the sole breadwinner.
I believe in shared responsibilities.
The family unit must be equally important to each other.
We had great counsellors.
We are the first batch which experience the new modules for the marriage preparation course.
I wished the group was more responsive in sharing ideas and throwing in suggestions.
It was sad also that there are men who took this course lightly.
Some even complained to the fiance that it is a waste of time and you can hardly get any contribution from them during group activities.
Me and the fiance were among the older couples in the group.
Maturity plays a huge role in marriage and adopting the idea of marriage.
Love - does not conquer all.
That was what we are told.
1 out of 4 Malay marriages end up in divorces.
Ok, let me be more specific.
1 out of 4 marriages registered with ROMM.
Insya Allah, me & the fiance and the many couples out there enjoys being married for the rest of our lives.
My prayers to everyone.
So after 2 days, here is what we have achieved.
The license to be licensed to get married!!!
That, coming in a little more than 4 months!!
Love,
A wife-to-be
