Me: I miss you tau... i miss you mcm nak rak
Whoever: I miss you too..
Me: yelah but i miss you mcm nak rak.. you just miss me only
Whoever: Ok lah ask me again how much i miss you
Me: How much you miss me?
Whoever: I miss you macam nak rak-degebrak
(try saying that out loud)

*lol*
what a sound effect..
i couldnt help smiling.
Told you i am a sucker for all the sweet talks.

So anyway, I talked to my cousin who is working on the same project with me at DBS under IBM. I am praying another shift in my work. I will keep finding different kinds of work till i think i can move up the ladder. I need the monetary and self achivement. I will keep moving and moving while i am still young..

Oh btw.. did you know that it is technically a Monday and I forgot that i am working
OH MY GOD!!!
Macam shiok gitu 2 hari bangun pukul 11.
Dah bagus tu tak pukul 1 ok.

One of my cousins is getting married this December.
News of her wedding spread so fast.
I have 5 cousins borned on the same year as me. 2 are married.
One is getting married.
That leaves 5 of us.
Suddenly I dont feel like i need to rush into marriage.
Not now.
Cos i want to be financially stable and know that i have a proper career too..
With studies in my head, suddenly marriage don't fancy me anymore.
Cos i wouldnt know how to juggle them all.
I mean its nice to be married and seeing your husband most of the time.
but... *sigh* i dont know... i seriously dont
But I AM COMMITTED to him.
Yes i am.
I think he deserves that committment from me.
I am sure there are many who still shy away from it or worse still PLAY around with it, toying their partners feelings.
I know there are some people who still are.

I dated a few men on serious occasions.
And guess what?
None of them were ever faithful to me.
I repeat.
NONE
I knew it all along but i dont know i only chose this time to let it out.

Baby asked me what made me find him so soon after my break up with Shah.
He asked if i was really hurt by him.
I said yes
He said he has been depressed for so many months and didnt dare to try out another relationship. But he is surprised that i bounced back up so fast. And he asked how i was capable for doing that.
My answer's simple.
I never know who is the right one for me
Who God had in store for me.
I hate making myself hurt, finding out that i fell for the wrong man.
But when it comes to love, i think it is a trial-an-error kind of thing cos He will not come down and tell you who's the one.
You just go through failed relationships and learn and find a better one as time goes by.
I know i did...
But i hope God understands i am tired running in and out.
I had enough of men telling me that i will find better ones.
Telling me it is difficult for them to replace me.
That if God permits, we shall meet again.
Cut out that bullshit.
Telinga boleh berbulu tau dengar ni benda.
If they were man enough, they would work it out with me and not just walk out.
But nevertheless, i thank God upteenth times, time and again that i am free from them.
not because the existence of Fzam in my life
But the realisation what they are not the ones for me, despite me always wanting to try and work it out.
*sigh*

Mom has been mentioning about XXX.
I think she is still hurt for what he did to me.
Poor her.
But i believe he has moved on nicely now.
Alhamdulillah and God bless.
Whether nice or bad, kind or evil.
Its up to God to judge.
Not us.
And it is up to his consiousness to make ammends should there be any.

Good night all.
I HAVE WORK TOMORROW!
*lol*

Good night baby. You are my gem.
Better than a one carat diamond ring.
*lol*
I love you.