It ain't over till it's over

Did i ever mention to you that I have always been unlucky in love?
Well... let me say this..
I have been unlucky alright..
All the time with love.

I wonder why this path was so hard to me to have..
Does God ever want me to have a happy life with my loved ones?
Whatever it is, He is not making it simple for me.

Just when i thought that things are going in the right manner.
Right direction
Right decisions
Suddenly all my hopes and dreams come crashing down.
Something that I least expected.
Least least least expected.

I have to put up with the past decisions his parents made
I have to put up with the mistakes he made
I have to put up with with whatever the picture is drawn to me now.
Did anyone ever think how I would feel?
Did anyone?

Did anyone think that whatever i am doing is not for me?
Did anyone think about whatever i am or have been putting up with?
Did anyone ever think that i am indeed human with feelings and emotions?

But probably i just have to blame on the fucking bad luck i have on love.

And when i thought that things would change for the better for me.
God proved me that i thought wrong.

In the midst of tears shared last night, I didnt want baby to know I was destructable.
That's me.
Always wanted to be the indestructable.
I told him that there was still light at the end of the tunnel.
That somehow, we can still have our dreams only that it would be many years later.
But who am i kidding.
I know who i am.
I know how strong i am and can be.
But to last that long?
I am afraid myself.
I am afraid i am not strong enough.
I am afraid he isn't strong enough.
And when things fall apart, who am i to blame then?

But that's me.
Always the slave for love.
People keep having me head stepped on without thinking that i am just as human as they are.

I used to tell somebody that life is not for us to live.
Its true.
We're brought down to this world to make others happy.
And there will be many other who would in turn make us happy.
And that somebody said my theory was crap.
But it's true.
Look at my situation now..
What else can i do except to tell him to follow as what his parents say.
He has to be a good son.
And all i can do is to abide and pray to God that he now shows the light for me.
For me and him.