I went from hero

to zero

After 3 months short to 4 years, I will be leaving IBM in 9 days.

Initially, I wanted it to be a hush-hush thing..I did not want it to blow out of proportion, knowing the people who reads this and the assumptions and judgements they are capable to make.

But then again, seriously, I don't know why decided to do that in the first place.

Honestly, I do not give a shit.

When asked where will my next route be, I just smiled and tell them they will know it in time through word of mouth - as always.

I enjoyed my work during IBM.

The most flexible working environment I have ever been in but just like many others, it is another MNC run by the Chinese.

It was a great working place.

Everything is structured and if you pay attention well enough, you will never go wrong.

The thing about work is that work is never hard.

People are.

I was in the right place, wrong time.

My promotion came in too fast and that caused the downfall of it all.

The red eyes. The backstabs.

Something I felt my race was not entitled to.

I am not sore because I am in control of the situation.

My lovely fiance brought me for a resume photoshoot. He said the I needed a professional shot though he was not into the idea of me not wearing the hijab.

He said that Muslim women are becoming more prominent in the corporate ladder and even in our government.

Halimah is probably the only lady I know who wears the hijab.

There are so many minah tudung university graduates today of which, many fupidly assume that they are simply diploma holders, minah kahwin kahwin, suka mat bawak motor and will need a year to save up to buy 1 Louis Vuitton or setakat mampu Coach or worse Guess.

Being in the minah tudung category, do you know how effed-up that is?

In fact, I was once approached, "Eh you wear like this can still work ah?"

Over years, nothing I said will carry weight.

Its like aku ni muka lawa, kepala otak takder you know.

Very very insulting.

But I took comfort for the fact that those Chinese in my team have no looks and even with education do not have proper diction.

Worse, if they talk like a Chinese Nigga.

"I is about to update you."

Yet the world can be theirs because Chinese is a universal language in meeting rooms.

English with fake accents will be the universal language only when there are orang bulek.

Alfi knew that I may be most likely to be hired for the wrong reasons but all he said was that I should know how to draw the line.

How can I not love my fiance.

Truth is, if there was a Malay Chinese-looking girl wearing the hijab and a Malay Chinese-looking girl not wearing the hijab, the latter will definitely stand a better chance of being employed.

Its ok if you don't trust me and start to preach that I lack faith and rezeki is in Allah's hands.

If that is to be said, it is not wrong either.

At the end of the day, my source of income is halal and that is all that matters.

Ahlak supercedes hijab.

Singapore Airlines is having a cabin crew walk-in interview at Suntec City later today from 9am to 2pm.

Part of me was so keen to go for it but I can't lose my 9kg I put on in a day and the salary scaled maxed at $3.5k

These two were enough for me to put the idea off.

Well, let's just wait and see where the land of rezeki will be for me.

This route was the route needed to be made.

I could not stay a minute longer in there anyway though I am so sad that I will be leaving the convenience of me having breakfast, lunch and dinner dates with the fiance.
Coffee times and drives.

That is the only thing why I hate leaving IBM.